How can you love someone but not want to be with them?

Break Up & Divorce

How can you love someone but not want to be with them?

My ex and I finally met after a 1.4 years of no contact. She called me out of nowhere one day and wanted to just catch up and talk. She was the one who broke up with me so naturally i declined and explained to her that even though she was moving on, meeting up wouldn't be good for me. The next day at school later i messaged her telling her i still loved her and that I wasn't over the relationship so we should avoid any contact. She messaged me back telling me she loves me too and isn't over it either so we met up right there. The interaction was confusing. We were both happy to see each other and it was good overall. We hugged and sat close. We held hands and kept staring at each other deeply. I told her i love her snd she said it back but then she said we couldn't be together. I dont understand why she would do all this knowing how i feel just to tell me we can't be together. Ever since then I've been really hurt and i cut her off completely

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How can you love someone but not want to be with them?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • She might be confused. Or she might be stringing you along because she likes the attention.
    If she truly loves you still, and she's emotional. Then i would honestly suggest giving her some time. Make yourself the best version you can be then she'll realise what she's missing.
    But if you're 110% sure that you want her out of your life. Cut all contact and keep it that way permanently. If you truly love someone, those feelings will always be there even if you're no longer together.

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What Girls Said 3

  • There could be many reasons why you can love someone but not be together. Maybe she see's the relationship as toxic so she chooses to stay out of it for her own good. You can defiantly love someone, but sometimes that love could end you. For example Kurt Cobain, Amy Whinehouse. Etc that kinda love killed them. Kurt & Courtney were bad for eachother. Amy & Blake were bad for eachother.

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  • No, you can't. That doesn't make any sense. She is a lying bitch. Don't talk to her anymore.

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  • Do you know why she broke things off in the first place?

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    • We had a rough relationahio we were together 2.5 years. 1.5 out of those was long distance cus of college. A lot of insecurities from our dorming days, lack of communication, she used to hold sex back when we fought so we wouldn't have sex for up to 5 months at a time.

      One night we had a bad fight on the phone. I broke up with her cus i was angry then 2 days later i told her im sorry and wanted to get back together but this time she didn't want back in ao she left

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