Should I tell the truth to my Gf?

We have a son together who is 3 but she doesn't know i am cheating on her for about 6 years with men and women sometimes. I have had several relationships over the years, about 30 or so but they were only about sex and i was fine with a double life till now. She knows i am bi and probably noticed some suspcious traits over the years but i don't think she is sure. My affairs were mostly with men, but i have met some nice girls as well.

Some background on her, she is a huge bitch sometimes, she is the typical controlling feminist woman who tries to opress men. I always had to play the nice man when i was with her and i am sick of it. If i wouldn't have my other partners i would probably explode.

She wasn't like this when i met her but she turned in 2nd or 3rd year into some god prude. I decided to stay for my son tough. I first started cheating on her wth prostitutes when i was on business trips, but then i wanted more. I prefer my other partners a lot compared to her now, she means little to me. I also don't feel guilty about cheating on her, she deserves it in my opinon. I am reallly struggling to admit to all my affairs tough, i don't know, should i lie to her and say i fell out of love or telll her the truth?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you saw your relationship was not for you, why didn't you just leave so you can have this sexual life you speak of that keeps you sane?
    Right now mentioning what you have put up with and how terrible she is , just looks like one huge excuse.
    Although there may be truth to what you are saying there is no excuse for cheating, just leave !
    Cheating only makes things worse
    it's only a temporary fix in your mind.
    You're putting your wife at risk.
    What would you do if you contracted a std and passed it on to her? What would you do if that std was passed on to your child? Some stis such as herpes can be passed on to your very own kid. Many parents give this to their child without even knowing it. This is one of the reason why 80 percent of the population is infected with oral herpes (cold sores).
    You cannot undo the past but we honest and leave.

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    • *be honest and leave

    • I don't care what happens to her, if she gets infected, then let it be her own fault. As i said i like my son and i enjoyed the double life. Not too proud, but going behind her back with other people made me feel good and satisfied me. It got worse as time passed on. And now i can't stand it anymore. I managed to be nice to her for a long time. I am scared she will spread rumors about my sexuality tough so i will just mention the women.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Nice... why did you ever get married. You likely knew before you met her that you still need other people... now you are going to put her through this crap!

    I love the paragraph where you put her down... dude you knew what she was like before you married her. Don't blame your infidelity on her.

    Hope she boots your ass to the curb.

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    • Not really, she seemed nice at first and we got along, but then i got to know her true traits and it was too late. But i concentrate most of the time on my son. Women are better at being fake than men, they can manipulate. It's all her fault, i don't feel wrong at all. I never married her, men that marry women are stupid in my opinion.

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    • Of course it is always important to take care of yourself, however you have to extend the same courtesy to those people in your life and sometimes you have to choose their feelings over your own. It is the difference between being selfish and selfless, a quality you will want your son to know someday... we lead by example.

    • Thanks for MHGuy, hope things are going well!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • It's like they say, "Honesty is the best policy". Tell her the truth you'll feel better, it might be hard and it may be hard for her to take in but she needs to accept it in an adult manner for your child's sake. You need to own up to your mistakes and get you shit together. Cheating is a crappy thing to do. Take responsibility and become a better person for the sake of your child's life. Maybe your wife isn't the greatest person ever but that's no excuse to stoop down to her level and cheat. Work things out now before it's too late. Oh and I hope you get regular check ups.

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  • Don't tell her and spear her the pain of knowing. Just leave her, you don't deserve to be with her

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    • That may be the best option. I really don't want to be a attention whore.

  • You are a scumbag and need to do two things. Tell her the truth about your dirtbag ways and leave to find her true happiness. Hopefully you don't also need to be checked for STD's.

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    • Aha, look at what a child you are, using insults because you can't control your emotions. I would love hear you say this to my face. Women like you deserve things like these to happen to them. You sound just like her, but you know what? people like you just give me support and encourage me to cheat more.

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    • AIDS? ahhh you are showing your ignorance again, just because i have sex with men doesn't mean i have Aids, duh knew you were a bigot.

    • Edit: you should avoid using the word "woman beater" as it is not even proper word, it is simply made up by white knights and feminists, it makes you look like a typical radical feminist (: but i guess you already are one? if a woman has done a terrible thing or committed a big crime, then she deserved to get kicked the shit of, yes but i guess your sexism and bias will allow you to ignore the fact right? because of course only men deserve to get the shit kicked out of them right? oh well.

  • If you are unhappy in the relationship then leave. Don't use your son as an excuse to stay, clearly you were unhappy before he was born.

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  • Your mentions of her being rude, worthy of the cheating and etc all show how little you care for her or think of her.
    If this is not having fallen out of love then what is?
    Tell her the truth. That you have fallen out of love and have been holding on for the sake of your son.
    Make it clear. No matter how mean or repulsive she is, she's still your wife and I don't think she deserves to be lied to about your sexuality, feelings, personality.

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  • This is why you never trust a bi person. Sorry but if someone like girls and guys they'll never be fully satisfied with one longterm partner...

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  • Tell her the truth! You are clearly not happy in the relationship so why drag it out. If you are sleeping with prostitutes and men you are also putting her sexual health at risk which is unfair. However if you feel she will not let you see your son by telling her then maybe for now just end it and tell her you are no longer happy.

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  • You sound quite pathetic and disgusting... not your sexuality but your cheating and how you speak about her. No doubt she was suspicious which can make people change. You don't deserve a family life behaving like you do. Don't humiliate her with your cheating just walk away and set her free from you.

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    • I am a man, so "You don't deserve a family life behaving like you do" doesn't apply to me honey.

  • Looks like you don't have feeling for her anymore. why do you insist to stay with her? I think maybe you need to ask for a break and see how goes from there!! in my point of view don't say to her cos she already know it.

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  • First off, congrats on being a scumbag. Tell the truth. If you didn't want to be with her then obviously leave. Don't be an asshole. Oh wait... Never mind, that bridge was crossed already.

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    • Do you have anything else to say my child?

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    • Such a troll🙄

    • Sure, gotcha

What Guys Said 5

  • I believe this is completely unfair, hiding things like that you better tell her everything,
    and left her decide what to do, otherwise you'll feel guilty for whole your life!

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  • You shouldn't have stayed together. You should have told her what was wrong the second it went wrong.

    You can't mark this up to 'she deserved it'... two wrongs do not make a right! Even if she cheats on you it doesn't make it ok to cheat on her (And vice versa!!)

    I'd tell her the truth (the whole truth, take responsibility for what you've done) and finally get out of a relationship that is making you miserable.

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    • I can't tell her the whole truth because i am scared she will tell everyone i am gay. I don't want that to happen. Sorry but i don't find men cheating on women as bad because we our biology to back us up. I am a secretive person myself and even if i am not proud of it i enjoyed cheating on her, it made me happy.

    • It really doesn't matter if she tells everyone you're gay, you're not... so what's the big deal?

      Men cheating on women is just as bad. I don't give in to excuses on behaviour, you are in control of your actions, you didn't have to cheat, whether the controversial study on biology/cheating is true or not.

      You can do whatever you want mate, but I advise to tell the truth, not for her, but for yourself. What kind of person do you want to be? You have a son right? It's time to show him how a real man acts. Lying or hiding things is the mark of a weak, pathetic, frightened person. Is that who you want to be?

  • Don't tell her. Ignorance is bliss. You are the one that bears the pain right now, if you tell her you share it with her.

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  • You sir are an asshole

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  • You've been cheating on her for about 6 years with men and women sometimes.
    Then you complain about her being prude and feminist in 2nd or 3rd year , Really?

    Double standards asshole much?

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    • You don't merit her. I hope she cuckolds you daily.

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    • Haha, i can't get enough of your humour! but really she was the one who made me to do it, if a woman won't treat her man with respect then why should he?

    • Of cours, I should have smelled it's her fault.

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