My ex boyfriend who I am trying to work things out is a devoted Christian so he says, and well I tried the whole going to church thing and although I loved it, I felt that no matter how deep my relationship with Christ became, that it was never going to be good enough for him. We have been talking about going to couples counseling so that we can get past our issues. Now the thing is that he wants us to go to a Christian counselor, that does not bother me, but on the other side it kind of does because since I am not a full devoted Christian that they will take his side. I also offered since I agreed to go with him to a Christian counselor, that we should also go to a behavioral therapist. I told him that it would be beneficial to us both, he said no because he doesn't want someone who isn't a believer to help us.
Today during our argument, I had told him that he had said a few years ago how he did not like how he talked to me and that God did not like how he talked to me and that he would change that. The way that he was talking to me was pretty much emotionally abusive. He then said today that he would not change unless God told him to, and I thought that was really selfish of him to say.
I am worried that if we do go to a Christian counselor that everything will be good on his end even though he does not live by the bible in any means and uses it as an excuse towards me. I already have admitted that I am not a perfect person by no means and that I am working on myself, but with him saying that he isn't going to change unless God tells him to just baffles me and I don't think he understands what compromising is in a relationship.
What should I do?
He said he doesn't want someone counseling us unless they have a biblical faith. Control thing.
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like he is enjoying strining you along. Just tell him that you feel that you need to work on your relationship with God now. He should not make you feel that you need to be closer to Jesus just for him. Your relation with God needs to come first he should just be a byproduct encouraging you.2THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
This guy sounds delusional. Any Christian should know that just because someone is a Christian doesn't mean there better than someone who isn't. He also can't judge you about your relationship with God, only you and the man upstairs know how strong your connection is.
Him going back on his word of saying God did not like how he talked to you to he's not going to change unless God tells him to is complete bull crap. I really think he's using God as a way to control you.
Honestly, tell him that if he insists on a Christian counselor then you should be able to choose one as a compromise or middle ground, or at least get one outside of your home church.
Really, I don't know how serious your relationship is, but I think y'all need a break. If you want to work on yourself you're definitely not going to get much accomplished if you're stuck in a relationship with this guy and I honestly don't think he's going to change anytime soon if he's saying he's waiting for God to tell him to. He should make the decision to better himself for God, and you, based solely on his want to make the both of you happy, not just wait for some sign from God.1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE