How to get over an Ex?

Basically I dated a girl but we broke up over 2 years ago. I thought I was over her and that I was making tons of perosnal growth for myself but I have come to realise I did it all because in the back of my mind I still wanted her and I wanted to prove I was the kind of man she would want.

Tonight we met up for a dinner so we could catch up. Things were going well then she mentioned how she likes this guy but she is too nervous to ask him how he feels about her. I used to go to school with the guy, he is everything I'm not. It really hit home when she said that, I felt sick in my stomach. At that point I knew I was still in love with her and most defiently wasn't over her.

I spent the last two years subconciosuly trying to be the man I thought she wanted without even knowing it. I now know I never got over her, I am still in love with this girl.

At the meal I talked her into talking about her feelings to the other guy, I felt shitty the whole time I did it. I want her to be happy, I just never realised I wanted her to be happy with me even if I didn't always know it.

After the meal I didn't go home, I just walked around, find somewhere to sit down and thought about how the last couple years I had been molding myself, transforming myself into the person I felt I should have been. Ironing out perosnal faults I felt made our realtionship not work. Rgardless the perosnal growth was needed as I was a very shy and broken person in the past.

I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore.

I realised I still love this girl and I know she will never love me again. Even know I wonder if a piece of me won't ever be able to accept that I lost her.

How to I end this? How do I finally get over her if I haven't been able to all this time?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She could've been talking about another guy to see if you still had any feelings for her... fishing for you to tell her if you still have feelings. I've actually done that before. You might want to give it one more shot & tell her how you feel before you close the door & find someone new.

    • Well she told me who it was so I'm pretty sure its legit.

    • I've told guys who it was too. I was still hoping they'd tell me their secret feelings about me cuz I liked the guy I was telling more. But some girls will never tell a guy how they feel because they think they have to wait for the guy.

    • Honestly I did this a lot to my ex as well, once saying I liked a close friend of mine , all to see his reaction

What Guys Said 2

  • I think it's important that you break off this friendship. You need to talk to her about it first, and soon. Tell her to just listen until you're done talking and then she can tell you what she thinks. Tell her everything that you put in this post. Explain all of your feelings, all your growth, that you didn't know it was for her, but that it was. Tell her how you're jealous that her affection is going to someone else, but that you want her happiness. When you've explained it all, tell her that all those feelings make it too hard to be her friend right now, and that you need to have some time without her in your life so you can move on since she obviously already has. Then let her talk.

    I dated the same woman for 4-1/2 years. After she moved to Ohio to go to a special school, I didn't move on for nearly three years. I hope it works out for you man. Hang in there. Try and go on dates. Rebound relationships can really help. Just don't lead anyone on. Good Luck bud.

    • What helped you move on mate?

    • Show All
    • Don't beat yourself up man. I cried like a baby for months. I still occasionally have dreams about it. It sucks man. The breakup may not have been what you wanted, but it was good for you. It resulted in a great deal of personal growth. You should continue that growth, and continue to be a better person. Your success in life will help you achieve stability that will be a good foundation for building a happy life with someone new.

    • Thanks I'm trying. I just want this hurting to stop. Now I know its over and I have no chance of getting her back

  • you eventually meet and date other people , that would be how you forget about an ex


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