Tonight we met up for a dinner so we could catch up. Things were going well then she mentioned how she likes this guy but she is too nervous to ask him how he feels about her. I used to go to school with the guy, he is everything I'm not. It really hit home when she said that, I felt sick in my stomach. At that point I knew I was still in love with her and most defiently wasn't over her.
I spent the last two years subconciosuly trying to be the man I thought she wanted without even knowing it. I now know I never got over her, I am still in love with this girl.
At the meal I talked her into talking about her feelings to the other guy, I felt shitty the whole time I did it. I want her to be happy, I just never realised I wanted her to be happy with me even if I didn't always know it.
After the meal I didn't go home, I just walked around, find somewhere to sit down and thought about how the last couple years I had been molding myself, transforming myself into the person I felt I should have been. Ironing out perosnal faults I felt made our realtionship not work. Rgardless the perosnal growth was needed as I was a very shy and broken person in the past.
I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore.
I realised I still love this girl and I know she will never love me again. Even know I wonder if a piece of me won't ever be able to accept that I lost her.
How to I end this? How do I finally get over her if I haven't been able to all this time?