Boyfriend accused me of judging his culture when I wasn't. Now he won't speak to me. What's wrong with him?

My boyfriend and I got in a huge fight because he assumed I was judging his culture. All because I asked things like, "I haven't felt uncomfortable in that type of situation. What about it makes you uncomfortable" (Thinking it was a personal preference.) I didn't expect to be accused of "imposing my culture" on him, "judging him." (He's Peruvian, I'm a white American. He's huge on activism against oppression and racism. This is not the first time he accused me of being part of the problem.) I explained my intentions. He said, "we just think differently and that never seems to be reconciled".
We didn't speak for 5 days before he started acting as if nothing happened. I said, "I told (mutual acquaintances) we had broken up. It seemed final" He said, "Aw, you didn't have to do that. It doesn't mean we can't talk. It doesn't mean that I don't care for you or love you." and I responded, "What do you mean? What doesn't mean we can't talk? I still want to see you, I'm not sure what you want." and other feelings
I could tell he walked away from the convo to do something else for over an hour. (If I do that he gets upset.) I said, "I feel like I was left hanging." he came back very hostile. Said I was "accusing" him of leaving him hanging. He also made it clear he was still convinced I "judged his culture" the previous week. I said, "No, you ASSUMED I did. You twisted my words. " He said,"I don't like the way you're acting. I was loving, treated you well, gave you gifts & this is how you repay me. It's best we don't speak anymore".
3 days later, he wrote, "FYI, *that* is leaving you hanging." Me-"You said let's not speak anymore though. " Him-" FYI being clumsy with your words is not the same as having them twisted. Yes, let's not, I don't have much of anything to say to you."

Any guesses? Did he start these fights to get rid of me? Is he likely to try to start things up again? What's wrong with him?


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I have problems with overly sensitive people. In fact, everyone has problems with overly sensitive people.

    I reckon either way you're better off without that kind of crap in your life. Do you really want to spend your conversations walking on eggshells? I wouldn't.


What Girls Said 1

  • Shitty advice but oh well: Just don't bring race/culture to the convo.

    • I asked him why he felt uncomfortable having me over when his brother was home. I wasn't even thinking about race/culture. I thought at the worst maybe he was hiding something or embarrassed of me. He was like, "So you're saying my culture is weird?" lolwut

      Another time I referred to the US as "America" and he flipped out. Telling me I'm so "privileged" that I couldn't even be bothered with learning what is insulting to his culture.

    • Then he's overreacting and sounds insecure :/ another shitty advice but maybe moving on would be better, this dude seems like he really wants to fight over the stupidest thing.

Recommended myTakes