How do you get him back when he's in a new relationship?

We dated for two years it was a very serious and intense relationship. Where he gave me a ring and said I was the one he wanted to marry. 3 months later he's in a new relationship. The month before they got together he said he missed me and always would. I sent him a text last night after two months of no contact between us of a happy memory that we shared. (Nothing nosy or negative else was said) but he didn't respond and he still hasn't. Ever since we split up I've wanted him back despite everything he's said and done.

  • do I text him again in a week?
    Vote A
  • Leave him alone. He's in a rebound relationship and he'll contact you again
    Vote B
  • Drown myself in a case of wine until the heartbreak goes away
    Vote C
  • He's over me. Let it go
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
Also a week into their relationship I caught him stalking my Facebook. He liked something I posted a year ago and we aren't even friends on Facebook. So he most definitely had to be stalking.
Alright seeing how most you answered my poll and dealt with my whiny emotional self (which I greatly appreciate it means the world to me because I'm in such a dark ugly state it's scary) however I want to thank all you. I wish I could give you all a hug. Now the next question is...

How do I move on from here? How do I get him out of my head? How do I stay distracted? And last but not least. How do I simply stop loving the bastard?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sorry for what happened. if you really loved yourself, no bastards will love, cuz they will know that you're like a superwoman (strong inside and outside)... don't worry, I meant self-esteem.

    you need to start thinking about what went wrong and how to fix it, not keep thinking about him, the things he said, the things you guys did together and the special moments you shared (bad idea). It will only push you into depression. think about the present, instead. or better still, focus on the future!
    I know you still care about him, but let him go... It just allows you to be self-reflexive and emotionally less dependent on others.

    you need to discover a lot about yourself... I mean your weaknesses, your strengths, who you are and what do you want.

    Good luck...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Get over it. It's over, and you need to move on. You're tormenting yourself with delusions of gettimg back together. It ended for reason, it always does, and on again/off again relationships rarely work out well for anyone.
    When my boyfriend and I first got together, his ex from a long term (5+ years) relationship hadn't let go. She sent him texts and posted old photos on his facebook, trying to get to both of us. All it did was make everyone think she was crazy. Don't be that girl. Move on.

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    • Oh I haven't done anything like that at all. I've left him alone. Last night was the first time I reached out to him since the break up. I'm just trying to get helpful advice. Because I genuinely care about him. Always have always will. It sucks. I just don't know how to move on when I everywhere I go his ghost and memories haunt me.

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    • Stop counting on him coming back. It's not going to work out, especially if this keeps happening. It's not a healthy relationship by the sounds of it. You know this. You know you need to cut off contact, you just need to do it.

    • Well this is like the first official break up. I don't plan on contacting him again. I know I deserve better but I can't stay distracted long without him creeping up in my mind. Every where I go I'll see someone that looks just like him first glimpse but they're never him. How do you deal with an ex whose memory constantly haunts you everywhere you go, every time you close your eyes, every thing is just a constant reminder.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Just something to add, yes it's rude if he doesn't respond, but think of this: what does he say to the new person he's dating if he responds to his ex girlfriend? It's not fair to her.

    If you guys are meant to be, you guys will be! But best thing you can do is let him go for now, and do things that are best for you then drowning yourself in this stuff. He'll come back if he's meant to come back, but if he doesn't trust me you will find someone who's better for you! Regardless of what you guys shared.

    Also tip: Unfriend him off facebook and all other social media, it does wonders trust me!

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    • We aren't friends on any social media. I don't even have an Instagram anymore. Facebook just kinda sits there. But thank you. It means a lot

  • Let him go, recover the best way you can.
    You broke up for a reason, even if you could get back together, it isn't a great idea to date ex's anyway. (experienced)

    It's lame, I know.
    Sorry.

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    • I wish I could just simply let go but I don't know how. He meant the world to me. I literally bent over backwards for him and beyond. My head was like it's over and my heart and gut have always said he'll realize what he lost and gave up and come back. I'm literally holding on to nothing. I don't know what's wrong with me. And why I can't let go of someone who truly never deserved me. Why I'm still in love with him after all of this. :(

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    • @Coconutty I guess it hurts so badly because I truly loved him unconditionally and I know he doesn't deserve me. If you've read anything I've said I guess you'd agree. I don't understand why I'm having such a hard time letting him go. With my daughters father we split up because of me. I made horrible mistakes but I vowed to never make them again and that the next person who came along I would give them my all no matter. So that's what I did. I guess it's karma. But I swear I'm not a horrible person. Once I love you I love you with everything I've got. Every person I've let in has left and walked away. So even though I know I deserve better I still feel like I'm not good enough or like there's something wrong with me.

    • See, what I've been learning lately is that karma is not the result of your bad actions. Karma is repeating the same behavior patterns over time because you haven't learned to do something else. Changing your karma means changing your old behavior patterns.

      So in that sense, yes it is, because you responded to him how you responded to other men who aren't worth your time in the past.

      So take it this as your opportunity to go change your karma!!

  • There are lots of ways to get over things.

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  • You have to describe why you suddenly broke up if you want any meaningful opinions

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    • Well it just kind of ended. We got in a fight over social media because of a concert we had plans to go to the next day and didn't talk for three days. When he finally reached out to me I tried to talk to him about why I was upset. And he just kept saying that I know it's done you don't have to remind me. Which I wasn't saying that at all. come to find out a month later he admitted he went to the concert without me. I have never wronged him like what he has done to me. He's done much worse than that and that's just the tip of the iceberg. He always claimed I was the best thing to ever happen to him. And I stood by his depression/anxiety, attempted suicide, dui and job loss. I was the golden girlfriend. His sister was like I don't know how you put up with him. He doesn't deserve someone like you in his life.

  • I advice you move on, he has, so what are you waiting for

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  • 1. kill her
    2. kidnap him
    3. run away to some place uninhabited
    4. make sure he's aware that he's your bitch

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  • Sadly he's over you. Sure he might have felt that way before but things change.

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What Girls Said 5

  • He's in a new relationship. It's time to let go and move on.

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  • Move on and let go. He didn’t reply is a sign he had moved on. You do the same. Besides remember why y'all broke up it was for a reason. So, why would you want to g o back to that situation.

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  • He with someone else bye bye ex bf!

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  • Girl don't.. you'll end up getting hurt in the end, move on. Try and find something that you enjoy without it reminding you of him

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  • He sounds very immature. I'd consider myself lucky to not have married him.

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    • You got it right. I'm older than him which I guess a big part of the issue as well. I'm 24 and he's turning 22. He also has a lot of issues and insecurities. Not to mention a really bad anger problem. I tried to get him into therapy for it because it was getting to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore. He went to a handful of sessions but then stopped. He always claimed he was a "man" but looking back a man would never treat the woman he loved the way he treated me. He locked me out of his house, got aggressive with me and called me all sorts of names including a cunt at a baseball game we went to because i was angry with him for something he did before the game (held his knife out he window threatening a driver behind him in a really bad city) he could drink a fifth to himself at one sitting but cry because he didn't want to end up like his dad (recovering alcoholic) but still I stood there and loved him regardless. Guess the jokes on me.

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    • It takes time. It's okay to fall apart. You invested a lot in the relationship.

    • I felt like I was making such good progress and now I feel like I'm back to square one. Depressed, not eating, anxious as hell. I hate it. My brain won't stop at all either. Shutting that off would make it ten times better. He's like a ghost that's haunting me. From the time I wake up till I fall asleep. And even then I have to take NyQuil (I have insomnia and this shit makes it worse)

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