After being hurt (cheated on and lied to) is it normal to feel cold and kind of an asshole in general?

Second time I've been cheated on and several times i found out the new date i had just gotten was with me cheating on their boyfriend... finding out afterwards. This puts me down in a depressed state of mind and it makes me not believe in having a sexy partner who is LOYAL/FAITHFUL! Any suggestions? Help please


Most Helpful Girl

  • I totally understand how you feel. I have been cheated on myself and it's one of the worst things you could go through.

    People brush off the effects of cheating, but it does really impact a person. When I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me, it really rattled me to my core. I still have problems sleeping through the night, and I feel like that is partly a reason why.

    I also have trust issues since being cheated on. Like I am always suspicious that a person does not really like me, that they must be cheating on me or that they must not like me that much. Basically my brain says "everyone leaves, so why wouldn't this person leave too?". Which makes me really sad at times.

    I know that there has to be someone out there who can be loyal and wants to be with me. But I haven't been lucky enough to find them yet.

    Worst of all, is that my friend's do not understand at all. They are all married and met their partners really young (one met her's at 15!). So they have no idea what I am going through.

    So I have no one to really talk about it with, which makes it really hard. If I try to tell them, they kind of act like I am just being overly dramatic.

    The thing is, it's normal to feel cold and uncaring after this sort of thing happens. I kind of feel like I am being more cut-throat than I was before. If a guy does something which I don't feel comfortable with, there is no second chances, he is out!

    The only thing I can suggest to you is to try and work on being in a better mental state. Do things that make you happy and try to find people who you trust and can talk to. Perhaps even seeking a professional therapist might also be helpful.

    There are faithful people out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, the hard part is just finding them.

    But what you are going through right now is totally normal and you are not a bad person for feeling the way you do.

    • It shouldn't be this hard to find... this is ridiculous lol. Thank you for the views and uplifting words. I will try my best to give my all in trust

    • I totally agree with you! I am having a hard time too, like ridiculously hard! Hang in there. I have talked t o a lot of people who had the same problems and they eventually found someone!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Its normal. But the depression is the part you might want to skip as its a huge waste of time.
    People become alcoholic in depression. And thats a waste of precious life.
    So don't isolate yourself, go out and try different challenges. You never get to re-live even a single second.


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What Girls Said 5

  • Been there done that. It's a defense mechanism but you really need to tell yourself over and over that not all people are like your exes and that it's possible to meet a person who won't hurt you like that and you have to give them a chance to prove that. Also try dating women you overlook or don't tend to usually go for... you may be surprised at just what you've been missing out on.

    • Ok i will. Alright Cougars...
      ... where are ya? Lol. They are probably more mature than most of my peers anyways.

  • The more sexy/beautiful a person is the more offers they will have and unless they have a really strong will or are very religious they will give into temptation to cheat.

    • This is the exact problem i feel is happening

    • It's life 101. That should've been obvious from the very beginning. OBVIOUSLY if you're gorgeous you're going to have hundreds of options. You're going to want to try at least a few dates and relationships before settling on one, since there's so many options that won't be hard. Some beautiful people are not into monogamous relationship so thats always a factor.

  • Yes. You just don't have time to settle down , take things slowly bud.

  • getting cheated on like that can make you cold but you shouldn't let that happen. You should stay positive and don't let past relationships stop you. There are many loyal people out there, you just got to find them.

    • Thank you for keeping my hopes up

    • Hey, np! Keep looking foward😊

  • Betrayal is so painful and it can be a challenge to trust again. Love never comes with a guarantee. People are only loyal to their needs and once their needs change then so do their loyalities. Some people don't value loyalty until they know the cost of betrayal.

    The only way to ever be happy in any relationship is to trust until they give you a reason not to trust and love like you'll never be
    hurt , and trust yourself to deal with whatever life throws at you

    • So risky but thank you for telling me

    • I can relate to what you are saying. Some of the most coldest of people are the most broken inside.

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