Cheating boyfriend- should I tell her?

I am very good friends with this girl named Chelsea. She is two grades older than me, but we hang out a lot. I've known her throughout all my years of high school. I am also really good friends with her boyfriend Jake who is in my grade. I hang out with Jake a lot because we are good friends. Well he other day I was hanging out with my gay friend Gavin. He told me that we had sex with Jake. I have heard rumors of Jake being bi but I never asked or anything. Gavin knows Chelsea and I don't understand how he could disrespected her like that. I don't know what to do because I want to tell Chelsea but everyone would know it is me who told. Maybe it's none of my business, but I would want to know if it was me that it happened to. I love Chelsea, she is one of my very best friends. I just don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm, ask your gay buddy Gavin for some proof that he's slept with Jake. Can he give you some distinguishing birth mark or details of some kind. Can his story be verified in someway?

    If it can, and you truly care about your friend, you would tell her, ONLY if you know Gavin's story is true. She'll find out eventually. And if she finds out it was true and you knew, it might be a big issue in your relationship with her.

    Chances are if Gavin's story is true, Jake is on the fence about being gay. Chelsea will certainly be in need of a good friend to comfort her on why her boyfriend is sleeping with men. lol sorry : )

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What Guys Said 5

  • I say that you should make sure first that it really happened. If so, find a way to prove it and to tell her. Because if she finds out later, and she will no doubt, you all are gonna regret it. The truth is the best thing as far as I believe. the longer you keep it from her, the more hurtful it will get to both of you. She's your best friend then be a best friend to her.

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  • Ahh high school secrets...what a pain. In real life you can either stand up for what you believe in or not.

    Where does your own morality lay? On which side? Personally I have alienated friends in the past for taking a stand on something and to hell with the rest. It didn't make me popular with my friends all the time, but they knew where I stood on things and that was fine with me. Later in life I was respected for this, and I still didn't care, I had to answer to me at the end of the day.

    How strong is your character? I may sound like a teacher or a parent here (I'm neither), but "to thy own self be true".

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  • If Chelsea is one of your very best friends and her boyfriend is a good friend who is in your grade then you should tell her.

    If he was your best friend and she was a good friend then I would say maybe keep it a secret...

    In this case, you definitely owe it to her to tell her...when she finds out about him (and she will), she may also know that you knew and that will only make things worse...gotta be honest, girl...

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  • Stay out of it. And I know, given what you wrote, that is not what you will or want to do but def stay out. There is only drama and bad stuff to come about. And you don't know for sure. I mean your friend told you but still doesn't mean that it is true. I would just say out of it.

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  • you never know if his lying or not. or trying to test if you can keep a secret or whatever.

    stay out of it. until you actually see it with your eyes. Rumors are not always true.

    i suggest you stay out of it. (period) I kno its a good thing to tell your friend. but its always too risky,you gota think bout yourself too.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Tell her it would be the best thing to do. The only thing is that there could be two possible outcomes... 1.) she could take it out on you, which des happen, but no matter what a true friend would tell her even if she didn't want to hear what you have to say. Even if she still goes out with him / likes him then still be by her side. Even if she does get hurt it's good to be there for her when her heart is broken. 2.) She might believe you and tell her your just looking out for her because she's like a sister to you and you don't want her to get hurt.

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  • just realize she might not believe you and freak out at you. I honestly would tell her and just let her and be there for her. if my friend didn't tell me my boyfriend was cheating on me, she wouldn't be my friend.

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  • Don't tell her... but do go to her boyfriend and tell him that you know and that if he doesn't tell her you will.

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  • Talk to Jake, ask him about it, if he says no then drop it if he says yes he did then ask him if Chelsea knows. if she doesn't inform him that he should either tell her or you will.

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  • You should never keep that kind of information from a person who is supposed to be your best friend. You don't have to make it public and tell everyone, because Jake may not be out in the open and that is why you are hearing rumors, but you should let her know.

    If it were reversed you would want some one to tell you if you were being cheated on.

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  • She might not believe you, he might convince her you're lying, it might destroy your friendship, but if she cares about you the way you care about her, once she realizes you were right she might come back & want to be your friend again. He'll probably call you names, make up rumors about you, & start a bunch of drama, but if you are truly her friend & care, I'd tell her. Try to find proof to show her.

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  • Im with most everone else. Find out its 100% true, then tell her.

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  • Definitely tell her, cos otherwise she will feel like a complete fool

    and also if you don't and she finds out that you knew, she might feel slightly betrayed

    i would sure wanna know.

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  • ArizonaRX is right !

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  • Make sure that it's true. Then tell her.

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  • I think you should confront Jake first and talk to him about it. Though he may be struggling with his sexuality, what he did to Chelsea was wrong. Talk to him about it first and tell him that if he doesn't tell her, then you will. Though you're good friends with both, this is a time to determine where your morals stand.

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