I don't know if I can keep doing the be in each others' lives thing?

My ex says he wants me in his life. He says he still cares about me a lot but doesn't love me in the same way he used to. He says he can't be with me right now because he needs to figure things out, and put himself first.

We have had a lot of emotional fights since the break-up and then he insisted that I was very over-bearing and that he needed space, meaning no communication i.e. phone/internet (since we already live long-distance anyway), yet he was upset that the weekend before because I didn't want to see him because I thought it would be too painful.

Whenever we do talk, we always ask the same questions about what went wrong and we never believe/understand each others' reasons. We are never satisfied.

He likes just regular, small talk about everyday things, but that kills me. I can't pretend everything is fine and normal, and I know for a fact I can never just be "friends".

I don't know if I want to get back together. Not at this current moment for sure, but somewhere down the line I can definitely see it.

But I can't do this anymore. I wanted to cut him out because it was too painful so I deleted him from Facebook. He was really really upset. So we are Facebook friends again. I am jealous of all the girls he talks to on there/becomes friends with. I hate him on my news feed and blocked him, but I still check out his profile a lot.

Every time we talk I end up in a terrible mood for the rest of the day, and I can't concentrate on doing any work. I become useless.

What are we doing here? What am I supposed to do or think?

It was a mutual break-up, no one cheated on anyone, we just weren't very happy towards the end. It was long-term, long-distance. We were each others' firsts. Except I guess I should add one thing.

I would've been much more serious about cutting off contact if it wasn't for the fact that we have so far agreed to go away for a weekend in late April. We were together for a very long time, but we never actually had sex. We are both virgins and always planned on being each others' firsts. But I don't even know how we can do that and how it's going to be afterwards. But I can't imagine doing it with anybody else, I just want to get it over with.

Efff I am so confused.

Updates:
Anybody?!?

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  • Simply cut it off.

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