How should I approach my ex boyfriend after hearing his grandmother passed away?

I recently found out that my ex boyfriends grandmother passed away, and I wanted to give my condolences. But I'm not sure how he will react or if this would be appropriate. We were together for 6 years, and lived together for 5 years, but ended on bad terms. I have not spoken to him in over a year, we never had closure we just broke up and never spoke again. While we were together, my grandfather and aunt passed away, he was there for my family and I. I just feel it is appropriate to pay my respect towards his grandmother she was a good woman. I don't want to call him or text him because I don't want him having my number. I was planning on showing up to his work and giving him some flowers to put on her gravesite. I'm not sure if he would get upset or how he would handle that. How can I go about this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Call him from someone else's phone (like at a restaurant or hotel, etc.)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you change your number from the last time you guys spoke? You could try reaching out to him through social media before you just show up at his work unexpected. He may not like it.

    It's a nice gesture but it may anger him. It's better to get a feel and a heads up

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    • Yes, I changed my number and most of my social media information. We haven't had any contact since the break-up. I think I'll call his work number instead of showing up. I just thought it would be more sincere if I showed up personally, but I don't want to cross any boundaries.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • What about a card? Mail him a condolence card letting him know your heart goes out to him for his loss, that you set flowers on her grave

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  • He'll be vulnerable now.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Send a Card of Condolences, @GreatPerhaps and Perhaps... A little money so They can Buy what they feel is The Way 'They 'can go about his.'
    If you Do Show up on the job, then it just Might End up to Be... Awkward and as Hard as Grandma's death.
    I am so sorry for Their Sad loss and I know How it Feels to Have Two Grandmas Pass in the Night. xx

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    • *The money that You would have spent on the flowers, and Being He was There at One time for you when you were blue, it is very appropriate to send a card with some money so the family can spend it on what they might feel just Might Last Longer than Flowers that will die eventually. xx

  • You might have to call him though use someone elses phone. As showing up at his work might embarrass or upset him.

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  • Just send the flowers.

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    • Send them to his work?
      You think it's best if I don't give them to him personally?

    • Yes, just send them. Or do you just want to see him. What is it really?

    • Well I just assumed it would be more of a sincere way to say I'm sorry for his loss, to show up personally, than giving a call/txt. But now I see that's not a good idea, especially since I don't want to stay in contact with him.

  • Send the flowers to his house with a card. Don't be there in person, it might upset him more.

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    • I don't know where he lives though, and I don't want to contact his family or friends.

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