I let my guard down and this guy played me. Best way to deal with this?

I'll start off with saying that when I met this guy he would always flirt with me/give me compliments. Later I found out he had a girlfriend of 2 years. After that I kept my distance.

He still kept trying to get my attention even as to go far and get my phone number from another third party. Long story short I did start having feelings for him and I told him and he said he felt the same way too and it was hard on him since he had a girlfriend but was "falling" for me too.

I know it's partially my fault because I let my guard down and let my feelings get in the way of liking someone who was already in a relationship. I would see him uploading photos of him and his girlfriend on social media, and was kinda hard. But, my feelings for him NOW are slowly but surely fading away. I've deleted his number of my phone, all the messages all this stupid sweet shit he would tell me. But what lingers now is how he played with my emotions. Also, this guy went as far to find out where I live...

If anyone has gone through this, how did you deal with it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are doing the right thing by having no contact. It's cruel to play with someone's feelings that way, even more so when he actually has a girlfriend. Just be thankful that you are not his girlfriend, and you are not with a guy you almost settled for, because he is obviously a "player". If you were his girlfriend , you now know he would be leading other girls on whilst in a relationship with you. He is the sort of guy who would repeatedly break your heart. Hearts are too vulnerable to give someone who will be reckless with it.

    That is not the behaviour of someone who cares about you. His behaviour is a reflection of his character... not yours.

    The one thing i have learned in life is... hearts break easy , but they do heal and they do love again. Just make sure the next time, that you put your heart on reserve for a guy who views it as precious ♥

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    • Thank you for the MHO ♥

    • You're welcome - I got several great answers but yours resonated with me. Thank you for your input <3

    • No problem. I hope it all works out for you ♥

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What Guys Said 2

  • You can't make it stop like turning off a light switch. You may think to do the following things:

    Step 1: Feel the loss or void. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Do not force away your thoughts from those feelings.

    Step 2: Accept the person is no longer with you, and would never come. Accept the heartburning emotions.

    Step 3: Focus on the good memories this person brought to your life. It's important not to dwell on the negatives otherwise that could cause you to relapse to anger.

    Step 4: Focus on things you would have loved more to experience from this person.

    Step 5: Remove items about him that may cause you to deny reality.

    Step 6: Set important activities to do daily. Focus on completing them. Activities focus your mind on positive emotions.

    Step 7: Remember something good is coming to you.

    Step 8: Let time be your best friend.

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  • Well my ex didn't have another boyfriend, but she did bang multiple guys on the side, and then come home to me, tell me she loves me, we are soulmates forever, etc.

    At first you need to get it out. Cry talk to loved ones about it, let them comfort you. Take a couple days of work if you feel really bad. Then try to focus on you. Find some hobbies and projects you enjoy doing, just for you. When you start thinking about how bad you were hurt, there will be some times it happens, you will need some more emotional support from family/pets/friends.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You should have cut him off and excluded him from your life as soon as you found out he had a girlfriend and took away your ability to make an informed choice, rather making the decision for you that you would be apart of his sleazy mess. I can't even feel sorry for you because at this point, you have willingly chosen to be involved with a tactless, deceitful, sneaky jerk who clearly does not respect women and will selfishly act out in his interest no matter what damage it causes. I cannot express with words how foolish you're being.

    So with that said, stop being so fuggin emotional and do what needs to be done with LOGIC AND RATION, not feelings. Assertively tell this guy, "I am not interested in men with mediocre character who do not respect women. I deserve better and I am not going to give you a place on the timeline of my life after seeing what happened to your girlfriend when she did. Fuck off." If that doesn't work, then inform his girlfriend what kind of piece of shit she's involved with. If you are going to cut him off, then COMMIT TO CUTTING HIM OFF. Delete and block him from everywhere and tell those you know to stop giving him information about you.

    As for your feelings, there are better men out there who will exceed him at his best. This is the type of guy who later down the road would fuck a teenager after you were married and just had a miscarriage. You will never be able to trust someone who blatantly backstabs someone right in front of you.

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