My fiance and I have been together for 3 years, living together for 1.5, our wedding was planned for May 22, 2010. I had a one-night stand about 4 months ago and she found out about it around Christmas. Things were OK and she said she forgave me and the wedding was still on. A week ago she had a change of heart, she decided we should call of the wedding and wasn't sure if we should stay together. For a week we slept in separate bedrooms and she spent all of her times at friends houses besides sleeping. We spoke a few times and things got very emotional and have also been Facebooking each other a few times a day. She said she wants to stay with me but feels she needs to get over the pain first. She's moving with her Aunt and needs space, so as of today I won't be contacting her at all until she's ready to talk. We have plans to go see a play next weekend. Any ideas how I can get through this time without trying to contact her? Any advice on how to get her back once she wants to talk? She said she still loves me but isn't "in love" with me anymore and I need to make her fall in love with her again. Any advice is appreciated!
How can I get her back after I cheated on her?
What Girls Said 1
TIME. Sincerity. No gimmick, no trick, no easy outs. You've gotta start from scratch again and prove you're trustworthy. Trying to rush your way back into it will make her have doubts ... patience shows your committed.0
What Guys Said 1
The problem with cheating on a woman is that you prepare yourself for a world of pain: she's got an incentive for revenge and you've confirmed her worst fears - you can't be trusted. Ask yourself whether or not you could marry somebody you couldn't trust. She's asking herself that every day.
I notice a gaping discrepancy here - she forgave you and then decides to bring it up AFTER forgiving you? That's not a great sign at all. Assuming your infidelity is still the cause is obviously going to be the first reason which springs to mind but I don't think it's that.
Pretend like you're dating again, not engaged. If that doesn't convince her to marry you again then there's nothing you could do as she was already on her way out anyway: "I want to stay with you" and "I need space" are two contradictory statements - how can you need space from somebody you want to be with?
Here's my personal opinion: it's for the best you two separate instead of trying to win back. Only somebody who's desperate or planning revenge crawls back to somebody who's unfaithful. And next time round, it'll be you who's going to come off worse.1
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