Ladies, I need your expert opinion.

My ex-gf and I had a few drinks friday night and she opened up a whoooole lot. Said she was still crazy about me and still had feelings. Are a drunk person's words REALLY a sober persons thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No alcohol is not liquid confidence. It is not truth serum. It is not "do it fluid" or "giggle juice". Alcohol is in effect a poison. It takes away a person's inhibitions and their ability to concentrate, which subsequently inhibits all other higher level thought processes such as reasoning and problem solving. It depresses the central nervous system and as a result causes changes in behavior and mood. Alcohol is also thought to have a more intense affect on individuals who are emotionally fatigued or distressed. I've never met a reasonable drunk person, and I wouldn't consider anything they said to be truthful or logical and I would not expect their behavior to be that of a rational gentleman or lady. Just think about all of the drunk people who meet a stranger and decide to elope with them that night by an Elvis impersonator. I think if they were sober and able to see the long term implications of their thoughts ("he/she is the one"), words ("I do" and "Let's get married"), and actions (signing the papers), they would seriously reconsider it all, if not take it all back completely.

    I would say the real indicator that she still has feelings for you was her ability to knowingly place herself in such a vulnerable position with you. I don't know about any one else here - but the only person I will be getting drinks with is my husband or a friend I trust enough to cut me off/do the right thing when I am too intoxicated to do so. It shows that some level of trust is still there (despite the break up).

    Take what you will from that. Either way - good luck.

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What Girls Said 14

  • As one of those ladies who spills secrets when she gets drunk, I can firmly attest to the fact that there are those of us out there who get emotional while intoxicated and then tell everyone in the room about it, especially if we'd have kept our mouths shut while sober.

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  • alcohol lowers your inhibitions. therefore it tends to lower your ability to keep your hidden feelings and thoughts, well, hidden.

    from my experience, that saying is for the most true.

    even if she's one of those drunks that goes around telling everyone and their moms that she loves them, she obviously went all out for you. plus the fact that she put herself in that vulnerable situation (getting drunk with the opposite sex) says something about her trust in you.

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  • We all know how alcohol intensifies our feelings...I would just be cautious if I were you...She may have meant every word but there is a chance she went a bit over the top...If you're still interested in her then feel it out...Maybe have a day date for coffee or just start chatting over the phone...You will know sooner or later how you both feel...But take care of you...If she's an "I love you man" type drinker, you don't want to read to much into it...Best of luck. Cheers!

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  • yeah sounds like what she's been thinking inside. but don't assume it yet, see how she acts around you and try to hang out with her more to get a better picture

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  • lol for sure. drunk people usually act out in ways they wish they could when they were sober. I know I do that. but although there may be some truth in there it is often exaggerated.

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  • Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Me for example, I never blur out things I had no intention of saying beforehand! EVER! Not even when I drink!

    Drinking only helped me sometimes to get a little more courage to say what I wanted to say in the first place. . .

    And yes, you can lie when drunk, it's not at all impossible. You can do pretty much anything as normally you'd do it, but perhaps with more shown intensity and freedom.

    Ad least that goes for me.

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  • Not always. I never take drunk people's words seriously, and most of the time I don't think I should be taken seriously either when drunk.

    However, I think maybe in this case she really was saying what she was feeling, sober or drunk.

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  • alcohol lowers your inhibitions so you feel more free to say and do things that you normally wouldn't do.

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  • It's believed that people tend to tell the truth when intoxicated. Some might have a lota rubbish to talk about,but typing from experience,when it comes to matters of the heart,when you're drunk,you really open up and tell the truth. So to answer your question,Yes:)

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  • In my case I'm extremely open and honest when I'm drunk and I feel this is true for most people. but maybe not. just go to her sober and tell her what she said and ask if it was true, make sure you open up about how you are feeling too though.

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  • I truly believe your true feelings do come out when your drinking I have a guy friend I've known my entire life and we always had a really close relationship and playfully flirt but nothing else however one night this past summer we were drinking together and playfully pushing flirting and he asked me right in front of everyone if the two of us were ever gonna be together

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  • It is the thoughts they hide so yeah she still could be crazy about you but may not think it's good idea. I know though if I'm drinking with a guy I trust him so there is a large possibility she wants to get back together

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  • I have heard that...but I have also heard that about anesthesia. Truth serum.

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  • I have gone drinking with my ex before and I've hung out with him after a night of partying/drinking. It took a lot for me to hold myself back, but one time I felt brave enough so I told him I still had feelings for him that I was still trying to get over. Like StillWater said, you can still lie when you're drunk. What I REALLY wanted to say to him was that I wanted him back. There was also a time I went out with friends and couldn't stop talking about how much I hated my ex. But honestly, I don't hate him. I am, however, mad at him.

    I think alcohol lowers your inhibitions and intensifies things you've been thinking about. I went out with friends and couldn't stop talking about how much I hated my ex. But honestly, I was just mad at him -- hate was too strong of a word. It's not necessarily the actions that matter because there are times where you'll have urges to do something that you'll never do sober, but you're not as worried about the consequences when you're drunk. I think the emotions you feel have a basis, so she probably does still have feelings.

    What do you want to do about it? Do you want her back?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sorry I'm not a girl but felt some of there answer were a bit off key; there two think going on with her first when people are drunk you should never listen to what they say. (it makes your life easier) Second, has se been lonely lately, when people are lonely we think about are good time with the latest person we spend them with, just focus of habit.

    So how do you feel about her, because if she was sober do you think you could agree with they words. If not let it be water under the bridge.

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  • I girl got drunk with me at a party...and I've known her for 3 years...when she was drunk...she admitted a lot of things that I never realized...that she was pretty much obsessed with me and want to take a ride on the bologna pony...she couldn't stand up straight so she held on to me for support...it was kinda funny. She had her hands around my neck...now there's a drunk mess for ya!

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  • My ex used to drink a lot. She didn't say anything nice when she was drunk, in fact she was incredibly abusive. The next day when she sobered up she wouldn't remember much but claimed none of it was true and that she didn't mean it. I know she meant it, basically everything she wouldn't normally say came out. Alcohol doesn't change people, it just makes them say what's on their mind without caring about anyone elses feelings or the consequences.

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