A true, "I let the ONE get away" scenario. How can I reunite with my First, One True Love?

So my ex and I had been dating for 5 years. We started senior year of Highschool and went all through college. Once I moved out after college things became different because she was still going to school and I was working full time. The stress of my job and struggling to make ends meet was something I never expereinced. Long story short in the last three months I began to grow distant and deppressed about my life and scenario. I hated my life and wasn't treating my girlfriend the way she deserved. I was also addicted to weed and constantly lied about it to my ex. So in November I knew I had to make serious life changes. I drove over to her college and broke up with her. My reason was that I really had no idea who I was and that I had turned into a negative toxic person. I needed to understand who I was again.

Present: (4 Months Later) I have made huge changes to my life, been clean for a little over three months, left the job I hated, went back to school to become an EMT (I am gradauting in March), got professional issues to deal with my anger, a lot has changed and I feel happier than ever. The only thing is my ex has decided to move on. I tried calling her Jan 31 to apologize for hurting her/ the way I treated her and ask her to take me back. She told me than that she is seeing someone else and I should move on.

I still love this girl soo much. I let my circumstances poison me and in return I destroyed our relationship. I do not understand how she was able to move on so fast when there has not been a day since we broke up that I do not think of her. This guy is one of her classmates and from the sound of it they became freinds around September. Im guessing that when our relationship started going downhill she went to him for the support she wasn't getting from me anymore.

Is there anything I can do that can convince her that I am not same person I was and ask her to give me another chance?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't they say as part of your recovery that you need to be single for a whole year (if not two)?

    It's only been four months. You can't possibly have changed in an appreciable way.

    If you're supposed to be together, the universe will bring you back together. If you keep trying to force it, it will never happen.

    • I understand your viewpoint, I am assuming that forcing it would include any form of contact?

    • Yes. Give it the full year. It's understandable to want to go back to what's familiar, but that doesn't mean it's the best course of action.

What Guys Said 1

  • there is a possibility that she see she has given you a lot of chances in the past and has been let down by every one of them. you might feel she is the one and only but i dont think she will be able to get over the damage that was done in the past. since you care for her let her go and just be glad she has found happiness even thought it isn't with you..

    • Im just curious but why would think that?

    • you said you didn't treat her they way she deserved so she had probably been asking herself if she should leave. when you broke up with her, she was probley really upset and leaved at the same time. she turned the page of her life and started a new chapter just like you did when you got your act together. she now has security and stability that she was missing at the end of your time together. if you truly love and care for her would you want to destroy the happiness she has found.

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