He cheated on me but I begged for him back?

I know it sounds dumb but he's the only guy I've ever been with. We've been together almost 6 years and around 3 years we got into a huge fight. He said maybe we need some time apart so we took a "break". I was pretty upset because I didn't have anywhere to stay since I was living with him. But I had gone back to get some things and he wasn't there so I got my stuff. As I was leaving he came pulling in with my bff in her car. I didn't think anything of it at first because I knew he had mentioned working on her car. When I saw her the next day she came to me crying saying that he pulled her on top of him trying ot kiss her and stuff. I confronted him about this and he denied it saying its pretty f-ed up that I would believe her since I've known him longer. Both of them had deleted their texts. So I was like whatever I have no way to prove either side. I'll let it slide. I had been living in my car. Next day I logged into his FB because he was just ignoring me completely. I ended up finding IMs between him and another girl saying how he had been in love with her ever since he met her. And I went by his house the next day while he was asleep I went through his phone and found nudes between the 2 of them. I went crazy on her, mostly because even with me around she'd flirt with him every chance she got. If this weren't enogh I still begged and begged for him to take me back out of desperation so I'd have somewhere to stay. He finally agreed to "let" me come back. he told me he was only giving me one more chance and if I left again I couldnt come back ever. So I forgave him and here we are today. But I've definitely had my trust issues. I go through his phone all the time and I've never found anything since that happend So either he's actually changed or he's super good at hiding it.
Now I'm regretting everything I can tell he had me completely brainwashed and I was so in love it clouded my judgement. But I feel like Im trapped because I have no reason to break up now.

Updates:
I've tried to leave him before and he gets really mad and starts throwing and kicking stuff. And It always comes back on me. That I would really waste a relationship this long and that I would leave him after everything he's done to be a better person for me
I also met this guy that I work with and he's the most amazing person. We have such a connection. I'm so happy spending time with him but I can't help feeling like a cheater because he makes me happier, but all weve ever done is talk at work
Well I worded that wrong I tried to make him leave because I own the home were in now. I also make most of the income but I can't pay everything alone.
I think my problem is I'm too forgiving. And I can't stand to hurtpeople even if I end up hurting from it
(And no I haven't tried to persue this other guy but I can't help but think.. what if? Could things be better? )

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is so sad, you should NEVER be okay with being totally dependent on another person! I don't care if you have to hustle and work your butt off to make enough money, you need to be able to take care of yourself! You shouldn't be depending on a cheating liar who, truthfully, clearly doesn't even care about you, for a place to stay. Get a job, get an apartment, get OUT!

    Secondly, your "friend" who sent nudes to your boyfriend isn't a friend and if you haven't already, you need to cut contact with her. Don't be immature and try to get revenge or whatever, act like a grown woman and just know when to let people go for goodness sake. Drop the boyfriend too. You're wasting a part of your life right now and it's about high time you get it back.

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    • Saw your update, it sounds dangerous to outright breakup with your boyfriend. You need to rent a place to stay without his knowledge and quickly move out when he's gone FOR YOUR SAFETY. Real talk, Even get your phone number changed.

      Also, you need to once and for all breakup with your boyfriend before pursuing anybody else. When it comes to this particular issue I don't care that your boyfriend cheated on you, that doesn't make it right for you to go play the field while still technically with him. I strongly suggest giving yourself time to get over the relationship and grow before pursuing anybody else anyway. You're not in the right frame to be dating right now. You're desperate, you have low self-esteem, you haven't learned how to be independent yet---it's a recipe for disaster.

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What Girls Said 8

  • You either need to decide whether it's worth it. Is being with him so amazing that it's worth losing your dignity and getting cheated on and having things thrown around the house? Cause if it is, you've managed to find some kind of love god because no relationship is worth that.

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  • 1) Start shopping around for a roommate. Once you have found one, and they give you a move-in date, you'll know you will have help with the bills.

    2) Break up with him. You don't have to give him a reason. Just tell him it's over, and give him 10 days to find a new place to live.

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  • Girl. Stay away from those "breaks". Any man that will let you go out into the streets is not the man for you!!! He let you live in your car. And somehow deluded you into thinking you had done something wrong. He tried to mess with your "friend" who tried to tell on herself?

    You are worth so much more than whatever is going on with you right now. If you have ANYWHERE else you can stay, please go there. You don't need a reason to break up with him or anyone else. If you don't remember anything else, remember this: YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR ANYTHING YOU DO.

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  • You need to meet new guys and date them and wean yourself away from this bad ex as he's a creep. You will soon realise you can find a better replacement of him.

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  • First of all I am sorry this is happening to you. But your strong, and I know you'll overcome this obstacles. Furthermore, I was in a similar relationship as yours, I was with this guy for 3 long years. He cheated on me once, and I forgave him. So I lost trust on him and there went the relationship, bc without trust there is nothing left. Trust is the most important component in a relationship. Moreover, I decided I couldn't take this relationship anymore, so I left him. He begged me to come back, that I shouldn't leave him like that after 3yrs, that I pretty much wasted his youth (he was 5 years older than me). Anywho, I am glad that I left that toxic relationship and I suggest you should too, before its too late.

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  • Oh god girl where is your dignity? He did something wrong. Why would you beg him. That just shows that you're insecure and weak and bascially lonely. Leave his goddamn ass. Go find someone else. Smh.

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  • You don't have to have a reason to break up. If you don't feel good with him and you do not think you should be together then you should break up.

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  • You have basically told this man that he can cheat on you and you'll always come back. His cheating will continue because he know your not going anywhere.

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