What's up with this on again off again relationship?

Hi all! I've been on & off with this guy for a little over 4 months now. He was all in right away & I took my time & started to open up more after 2 months. He wanted to see me everyday, told me he was falling for me, that I was all he was thinking about, I make him so happy etc. Once I was finally at the same point things shifted where it felt like I was chasing him. We got into our first fight over me "thinking" he didn't want to see me. After that the overly sweet behavior he showed me before wasn't there as much. He ended things saying his feelings just weren't there & then a week later called me crying asking to see me in person & apologize. I was a little stand-offish but gave him another chance. A month back in things I went to use his computer & it was on his online dating profile which he had deleted before with a message to another girl. I confronted him about it & he wouldn't tell me the truth. The next day he confessed, cried, felt terrible & then he was the one to end it again saying he doesn't have those feelings for me. Since then there has been an exchange of texts messages which have been pleasant & we ended up hanging out yesterday. He treated me just like he did when we were dating, being very affectionate, kissing, holding me & such. When I tired to bring up what is going on he shut the conversation down & I wasn't up to starting a fight.

I don't know if this has anything to do with it. I don't know if I'm making an excuse for him. I don't know if I should bring this up to him. But everyone who he's ever loved or loved him has gone. Him & his mom have this estranged relationship, he doesn't talk to his brother, his girlfriend of 8 years left me (3 1/2 years ago), & his dad died.

Any insight?


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What Girls Said 2

  • It's push pull behavior. And only 4 mos in. He sounds very emotionally unavailable. He can't keep putting you through this... you're not a yoyo. You seriously need to back way off. Don't answer his calls, or his texts. He doesn't know what he wants if it's this unstable. If he asks what's up, tell him you need to protect your heart and you need him to be sure of himself before you continue. Until then, take care of yourself because this will only tear you up inside.

  • If you're in an on again off again relationship and you've only been together 4months give up it's not going to work


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