Is testing the water before dumping my boyfriend bad?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 years, since a high school. I moved away to go to college and he stayed back and works a mediocre job with no ambition to do anyting else. He has always been very possessive and jelous of even friends. I guess now that I've been away from him the last 2 years of college, I am starting to be emotionally and mentally exhasted from the fights we have over stupid childish things. Since I am a full time student and my relationship with my parents are not that great he is kind enough to pay my phone bill and sometimes buys me things I need once I lost my job. He always hold these things over me whenever we fight. I think I am ready to finally end the realtionship and the past 2 weeks we have not talked too much and he can tell I am getting distant.

I went on a date with a guy, and it was the most fun I've had in a while. We have so many things in common and we have a physical attraction. Im not saying we are going to jump into a relationship, but he is what I had always wanted in a boyfriend. Should I have just not done that untill we broke up... I just need to find the right time and get my finances in order since I will no longer being getting help from a boyfriend now


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is so much to answer and say beyond what the question asked. First off an without judgment of you what you should have done is assess your current relationship and see if anything could have been done so as to avoid this issue if you didn't want the relationship you should have sat down and told him so and had a conversation with him about it and broke on good terms. That being said what is done is done and looking back is not an option. So as to help with your current situation I need info so as to give you the best answer I can have you and your new love had sex yet? Be honest because if you have or not will greatly determine how you should handle the situation at hand and my advice and how you should approach the situation may not be effective with out your honesty.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want to end the relationship then fine, you should but you shouldn't be staying with your boyfriend for money. Stop depending on him and take care of yourself. There is a difference between being with someone you love and they buy you things and help you when in needed and staying in an unhappy relationship for a while longer to get your money in order. For me personally I would hate to be finically dependent on a man I didn't want to be with, I'd rather save my self respect struggle to get by

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What Guys Said 11

  • So you basically want to see this new guy while your boyfriend that you don't care for no more pays your bills and other things you need while you get your finances in order?

    Yeah that sounds wrong to me. You should end it now.

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  • Well, I thought testing the waters is usually done before entering into a relationship or before the relationship actually begins. Plus you went on a date while you were in a relationship, and that's never right, no matter what reasons you may have.

    If you have decided to move on then why don't you break up with your current boyfriend and then do whatever you want?

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  • you went on a date whilst in a relationship?

    well okay if you really enjoyed that date, just break up with your boyfriend, i mean no contact for 2 fucking weeks? that ain't no relationship.

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  • Yea that's bad. Your kind of using him at this point. I'd say it's a fucked up thing to do. You went on a date so you cheated on him and now your using him to make sure you will be ok when you leave him. I'd say your being a horrible person. Even if he's a dick. Your not being any better.

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  • So you cheated. So you were a bitch and you want us to tell you it's ok. Well no, it's not ok.

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  • This is why women never find their true love, you have a relationship and go out with somebody else without he to know.
    It's ridicoulous and it will always be.
    At least have a balls to tell him, about this and then break up if you want.
    But remember, everythings is beautiful within the beggining after that, you may realize that you've made a mistake.
    Good luck!
    Hope one day I find a girl for me which is honest and fair.

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  • It's not ok but girls do it all the time.

    Technically it's cheating but if a girl can, they ususally do this all the time.

    I know it sucks being single but a few do it the right way and breakup before moving onto someone else.

    I find women pretty weak and afraid of being alone and they always almost do this.

    Def an asshole move but the relationship is done regardless.

    Like 100 percent of all relationships started before 21 ends. A person doesn't kno who they are until 20s to 40s

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  • Do whatever you feel is best for you. Let your heart guide you.

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  • Be honourable.

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  • Uh, if you're technically still in a relationship, it's called -cheating-. Don't mince words.

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  • You shouldn't have dated another guy while still in a relationship. It sounds as if you were using your boyfriend for the benefits of his "mediocre job". Don't be a trump. Dump your boyfriend, and keep dating the other guy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't go down that road girl. If you want to break up with him then just do it. Trust me, you don't want that bad karma hanging over your head. Its selfish to date other people plus be in a relationship, because you're trying to have it both ways. Plus, it's messed up to him.

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  • Break up with him if your not happy do what makes you happy

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  • TO me, it seems that you have made up your mind about breaking up with him. You are still young and don;t learn to financially depend on a man already. Do you want to have that kind of dependence all of your life? You can end up like a bird in a gold cage...

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