Most Helpful Girl
She would have never changed, because why should she? If you wouldn't have left her, she wouldn't anything to fear or lose, so she would go about treating you like crap. We always want to work out things w/people we care about. My ex was the very same, egotistical and only cared about me like a shiny new toy, tossed me aside when the "toy" got old. I tried my hardest to fix the relationship, I told him many times how I felt and he brushed that aside. He got angry at stating he was happy, yeah wouldn't be? A girlfriend to come home to and be able to leave her at home when you went out to a bar by yourself once a week. She would never truly care for you.
Most Helpful Guy
Here is the way I see this one... there are a good number of red flags here... first off it seems like you are being a doormat to her... let me explain... its like you want it to work so bad that you would give up your stand on issues (where you would put her needs in front of yours.) I understand that you want to make her happy but you need to be happy first and self confident. The next red flag is none of your friends like her. Your friends are your friends because they are most like you. So if they dont like her to me that could mean that you are blind or dont want to acknowledge that you aren't compatible. I think your friends are correct and you just maybe dont want to see the truth. You shouldn't look past what your friends think of her, especially if it is all or most of your friends. You need to open your eyes and see what they are seeing collectively. Next red flag her not showing that she thinks your perfect. It seems like she is only telling you what you want to hear as her actions dont match the words. The biggest red flag here is... when you told her that you need to change together and she said "you need to figure yourself out." She is placing the blame on you as to why you can't move forward. She thinks she is always right the way it seems and that she is perfect and doesn't need to change for the sake of your relationship working. The only thing that was solidified on this relationship is that you were a doormat to her instead of standing up for yourself. You have needs and feelings, find some girl that will actually respect those feelings and not try to place the blame solely on you. Both of you have to be willing to make those changes together if you deem it necessary and she expresses no intentions of doing that. Dont second guess yourself. You did the right thing, dont ever second guess yourself, your feelings matter. Find someone that is going to mutually work on making the relationship work. As you mentioned too, you need to stand up for yourself more otherwise you will fall into that same trap later and the next girl will take advantage of the situation too. You should never ask anyone to change either, they have to want to do it on their own for their own personal growth. So take time to find your own worth, and to work on your own insecurities. Let go of the past. Learn from it and move on. This is truly not the girl for you. I wish you only the best! Good luck!