Can someon walk me through this? I don't understand why I feel so emptied and sad after saying goodbye to this guy, even though I know he's no good?

I'm 21. I've had longer relationships before, so I don't know why I feel heartbroken now. This guy and i met end of December. We were planning on a one night stand, but we met a few more times and had sex each time (spanned over 2 months).

We had some falling outs- moments I was led to believe he was chasing other chicks when he promised we would be exclusive sexually. Anyways, he begged for me to trust him. We haven't spoken for over a week but we are on normal terms and plan to see each other again.

However, it has been a few weeks since we have seen each other and now my head feels clear. I guess I caught feelings? Im trying to rationalize why I can't stop thinking of him and why he is the first guy ever I've gone so stupid for. For some reason I can't say goodbye. When I met him, I was on top of my game- a 10/10. Then he came & knocked me down. I don't find myself attractive anymore; nothing looks good. I don't believe in love anymore. I feel like a shadow of who I used to be.

When he and I met, it was the first time I felt young and free in a while. He lived in the nearby large city. I fell in love with the city, the lights at night mesmerized me. I felt on top of the world when I would drive to his apartment in the heart of the city. The ride home was glorious. After great sex, the city lights, the music blasting in my car, going 80/90 and weaving around cars. I fell in love with it all, and I associated it all with him, including myself at that moment. Now, I'm closing what I have with him, and I feel like I'm saying goodbye to those months as well, and the person I was. Why do I feel like I'm cutting out a huge chunk of myself when he and I only shared a few moments in his room? I mean, he also was with me in my thoughts when we weren't together. My fantasies of him beautified my life as well. I just want to get that high back, but the only way I see it is to go back to him. Someone point me in the right direction?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I say if he gives you that much impact I would say give him a chance and see where it goes from there


What Girls Said 1

  • baby girl we are the same age and going through the same thing. I will tell you if you go back you will be really upset with yourself.
    What I learned and felt in my experience was that my self esteem seemed to have dropped although i was 100% clear on who i was and what i represented. I have tears down my eyes as i write this because its us stupid women that fall for this friends with benefits thing thinking we won't catch feelings. I'm so sad right now i sent my ex (if i can call him that) a text after i went to his house as i was walking home from a drunk night out. and because he wasn't there i cried and cried and sent the text that ended everything. I didn't put my heart out on the line but i said i was getting dickmatized and for us both not to contact each other. i hope my story helps and if you ever want to talk im here. I also need someone to talk too

    • I would love to talk about it. It's one of the worst feelings. I never thought it would hurt so much. I'm sorry you're going through this

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