We've been together for 4 years. We hit it off pretty fast and for me, the relationship seemed perfect for the entire time. He seemed very in love with me from the start. He was so good and secure and I let him in. He made damn sure I fully give myself in (even with huge trust issues due to past failed relationships). So I did. I loved him. He was never the most romantic guy in thw world, but he said himself that that's just his nature and that it doesn't mean that he doesn't love me. He would tell me every day how he loves me. And then after 4 years, one day he just shocks me with the breakup, saying that he never really loved me or was in love. That he thinks he incapable of that feeling towards anyone. That he never loved anyone, that he cares about things more then he cares about people. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. He apolagized that he wasn't honest from the start and that it took him this long to realize he is not made for love and relationship. I am torn apart. It was so hard for me to get rid of trust issue, and now I'm at square 1. It was all a lie. Why do people do this? How am I ever gonna trust again? How do I get through this? Please help!
Most Helpful Guy
Please don't take this as a derogatory comment, but have you considered counseling?
When it comes to love and relationships, there is no guarantee, I know because I've found out the hard way many different times.
At 41 years old I've come to the conclusion that if you want to have a relationship, you have to give every new person a chance as if though it was your first... if they betray you you have to just kind of realize that they are the fucked-up ones not you... the get out of your head that everyone is the same because it's just not true.
The reason I keep keeping on is because I'm not done living... I love to love and be loved.
If I just kept myself in a little protective bubble I wouldn't truly be experiencing life now would I?
Relationships come and relationships go... The key is enjoying it while it lasts... And perhaps one day you will find someone in which will last for the rest of your life... But until then don't worry about them or what you fear they may or may not do, all you have to do is worry about yourself.
I understand your sentiments, I truly do as I have had them myself... But it's some point you have to realize that in order to be free you have to let yourself go of fear.2THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
I have been in your place 3 times. My first boyfriend told me he loved me, convinced me so i fell in love with him, but he later admitted he never loved me and I was just something to pass the time. My second ex said he loved me, but one day he got crazy jealous that I was making friends with another guy even he was like, 50 and i was 17 he broke up with me and I never heard from him again. My third ex said he did love me but not like, "in love with me" just a different kind. I try to remain positive that maybe one day i can trust and find a guy who loves me and actually means it. My heart has been broken too many times. I'm fucking sick of it. The only advice i can give you, is just to stay positive and hope for the best, not all guys are bad but it's really hard trying to find the good ones. That's what I'm doing. Shitty advice I know.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE