I'm 21, so maybe it's my inexperience. But, I really fell for a guy the past 3 months and today marks the day I officially put him behind me. We were never official; it was more of a toxic sexual relationship. He continuously used and lied to me. He was having sex with other women (I am led to believe) in the time he and I were as well. I told him my feelings, he didn't catch me. He doesn't "like girls that way right now."
He just one night's females. I was a fool to think because he wanted to continuously bang me over the months that I meant more to him.
im just so sad though. I feel like I'm closing the whole chapter of who I was before and when I met him. The music I was just getting into, the lifestyle trend I was into, the way I wore my hair, all of it. He lived in a populated beautiful city that I fell in love with too. I miss how beautiful and carefree I felt when I would go to and leave his place. I miss that person I was when I "believed" I was his "only" one. I felt so amazing. I glowed. Now, I play that same music and it lost its pizazz. The city isn't as enticing, knowing I'm not going to see him. Getting dressed up & putting on makeup seems stupid. I hate him for how he destroyed me. My heart was broken over and over. Yet, there is a part of me that loves him when I did love him. Like, I miss what I can never get back because we can't go back to that place again.
I just want to be who I was before I met him, but I can't seem feel that same spark. I feel nostalgic and blue for the brief moment that I knew him. He awakened a high in me, and now it's gone. Now it's all in my past & I have to form something new.
Most Helpful Guy
what happened is really painful (sorry for that), everything in life is a temporary. so you need to stop blaming yourself for something happened in the past. I know you have a lot of questions to ask and a lot of answers you need to hear from him, but that won't change anything except will make you more sad. don't be angry, cuz really that guy didn't realize yet how special you are.
cut contact, forgive him and forget about him, cuz life will gets much easier when you learn to accept all the apologies that you never got. and that's will help you to know that the past is a perfect waste of today’s happiness, and to release unwanted thoughts out from your head
you may spend hours, days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in a dark room, but that won't change anything. give yourself space (forgive yourself) to heal, and time to accept your what happened, to walk out the front door into the sunlight to get some fresh air (new life).
Most Helpful Girl
You aren't a fool, you just trusted him much more than he deserved. The definition of a fool is someone who sees the "truth" but still continuously falls for the lies, and remains faithful to someone who is playing them. You now see him for what he truly is.
He knew how you felt about him, but was obviously still acting in a "destructive" way towards you. He had zero respect for you , but he will be like that towards other girls too. The way he treated you is a reflection of his character... not yours , so just be thankful you are not still with a guy you almost settled for
Painful experiences DO change people, it's inevitable, but it is up to you of whether you allow the experience to define you or guide you. So don't allow the hurt he caused you to define you in a negative way. Why give him that much control over your emotions and future happiness.
You may not be the same person prior to meeting him, but that doesn't have to be a negative thing, because failed relationships may not bring you what you did want , but they do teach you what you do want and make you realise what you deserve