I'm trying to break up with this guy politely, but he's being extremely difficult about it. Can I get some advice?

We've known each other through work for a few months (thankfully I got transferred to a different branch since then, so I don't have to see him) but have only been on one date that was, quite frankly, the worst date I've ever been on ever. Sadly, he doesn't seem to share that opinion, despite not making a move to show any physical advance (I. e. No kiss, no hug, no hand-holding, nada).

He tells me all of these sappy things through text, but never made any sort of gesture or anything in person. I texted him that things are very stressful in my life right now and I'm not really ready to be dating anyone right now, so could be we just be friends? And he wrote down something like this: "Thank you for your honest response. I understand that things are very stressful for you right now, and I feel bad because you don't deserve it. I wish I could make the stress go away for you. I want to propose something, if that's okay. I am so impressed by you. You struck me from the moment I met you. You are so unique and rare. I like you, simply put. So, how about this, let's not take dating off of the table. We just won't date now but later. Since we both like each other I think it's something we should do. Honestly, I would be a fool to let you go."

How the hell do I tell this guy that a) I have no interest in dating him, now or ever again, b) I didn't tell him that I liked him, just that when he asked me out and what my feelings were I said "well, I guess I'm at crush status?" And he just blew it out of proportion, and c) he's really creeping me out by how attached he's gotten so fast.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He does have an attachment to you. And there are some people who think that when you say you aren't ready to date that it's just an excuse. The best way is to just break off all contact with them and avoid him as much as possible.

    At this point politeness went out the window.

    • So, you're saying that I shouldn't even respond to his text, and should just vanish off into the sunset?

    • Yes. He seems to not understand that you are saying no. So the more you talk to him the more he will think you like him and showing him attention.

  • With a guy like this you have to be more direct. So tell him that you dont want to date him ever and that you dont want to see him again.

    Also when you said you were at 'crush status', that was misleading. Having a crush means you have deep feelings for someone. So just explain that to him and hopefully you can clear things up. Just communicate clearly with him so he has no way of turning it around on you.

    • Huh. I thought that 'crush' was like "oh, I have a crush on Christian Bale" or "I have a crush on that cute guy in my Chem/Phys class." Fluffy, without substance, and easily broken. I guess that belief is now corrected. Thanks, for all of the advice.

  • Sometimes polite doesn't work. Tell him just what you said in point A


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