Yes, it's all happened that quickly. In the beginning everything was amazing. Within three months of knowing each other, we were married, his second, my first. The way we connected, I was sure it was forever, and he assured me that it was.
I can't say that everything was perfect. I worked full time to support us both when he didn't. Most of our meals were ramen and cereal. But I knew he was the one I wanted to be with forever.
But two weeks ago we got into a heated argument that got violent on his part. He had never before been violent. He left but came back several times through the course of the day, sitting in the driveway, menacingly.
I know I should be angry, and I am. I know I should move on, and I'm putting all my effort into that, trust me. But I've spent the last 11 months trusting in my relationship, and this is such a shock to me. How do I get used to it? We barely talk and when we do it's very dry and stiff. I can't honestly say I desire to speak to him, but as I said, I spent the entirety of our relationship sure it would always work out.
He told me he no longer felt anything for me, so I established no contact. But still, there's a part of me that can only remember him as he was in the marriage. I am positive he never cheated, and neither did I. We spent all of our time together.
It may be useful to add that he was a soldier and still prided himself on being one, ten years later. He was sometimes cold and emotionless, he said it was ingrained. I'm just trying to give you a decent view of who he is.
People, how do I get over my mini-marriage? It's been two weeks, I want him out of my system. If you have experience in this, please, help me out.
Most Helpful Guy
I have read all the sentences you typed sincerely above and I have really felt deeply sad. Whenever I see unhappy marriages, I just feel very sad and I am feeling to lose my hopes about my future :) How can we trust people? How can we share a home and life with another one? Where is my soulmate...
I am single, even virgin, even don't have a partner and even I don't have a canditate. I may call myself very picky and very emotional, I just have a very soft and fragile heart. But I feel you sincerely and I wanted to say you; ''I hope one day you will be happy crazily!!! ''1
Most Helpful Girl
Well, I say you do what you can to stay busy.
It was a whirlwind affair, I would just put it behind you as a life experience. We all make mistakes.
I would be careful with the next guy, just take things slow. Try not to push for too much. Try to get to know him as best as you can and watch his actions. Try not to get enamoured with him too quickly.
I had a similar situation happen to me. I went on one date with this guy and he was pressuring me to be his girlfriend, asking me about who I was talking to, if I had any other dates, etc...
I thought to myself "wow, this guy must really like me if he's asking me to be his girlfriend alraedy". Boy was I ever wrong!
The guy was unstable, he turned out to be emotionally abusive. It was the worst decision ever. I moved in with him quickly (out of desperation, I had no where else to go) and it was so rough.
He would threaten to throw my belongings off the balcony, he would say he was gonna set fire to the apartment. He was just a terrible person towards me. He was also unemployed for most of our relationship.
I look back on it as a life experience. A lesson that I learned and will not repeat.
Lean on friends, join a class or a group and get out and meet new people. If a new beau asks about your history, don't tell him you were married right away. Wait until you know the guy a little before bringing it up. And just play it off as a bad decision.