HELP! my boyfriend isn't the greatest guy. I've been with him for 3 years and i, m afraid of breaking up with him what do I do?

Im afraid of breaking up with my boyfriend because i know he loves me but im not in love with him. i love him but not the way he loves me. im also afraid that if i break up with him that ill be alone forever. and im going away for college soon. help i need advice on how to handle this situation.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Break up with him and head off to college, you are not doing him or you any favors by staying together just because you both might be afraid of being alone.

    I don't get this being alone is so scary shit... one of the best things you can be in life is on your own and stand on your own two feet!

    Being alone is not a bad thing, it is a good thing and makes you get to know who you are without being attached to someones hip!

    In order to be a good bf/gf/wife/husband you have to know who you are and who you want to be.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why the hell were you with him for 3 goddamn years then? Are you THAT immature? I bet you told him you love him, didn't you? I don't like you. You are a liar and a pretender, world would be a better place without people like you in it. You already wasted enough of his time. Break up with him and leave him alone! And expect sympathy, you're gonna leave a bad taste in his mouth forever. After realizing everything was a big fat lie, he's gonna resent you forever. I've been in his shoes. Just go away and don't ever contact him.

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What Guys Said 12

  • First you need to understand what you want. If you don't wanna let him go, maybe it's not just because you're afraid of being alone forever, maybe there's something else there.

    First you think about it deeply, understand yourself, do it coldly. Then you decide what you do. If you don't really love him, break up. It will better for both of you. Just do it.

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  • "im also afraid that if i break up with him that ill be alone forever."

    Um... excuse me but if you want to break up with him then why are you afraid that, logically, it will be all over? I mean... that's a given.

    Look, it is unfair to him if you continue on being with him. He deserves someone who actually loves him the same way he loves you. So break up and do him a favor.

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  • If you're not in love with him, he needs to know. You two should talk this out and figure out if he's the issue, or if for some reason you just don't want to be in love right now.
    Be glad that you're going off to college - that's where many people meet the individual they end up marrying.

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  • You'll probably have to break up with him.

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  • just break up with him before you wake up 30-40 years old wanting to shoot yourself. but really your not doing him or you any favors staying together when you dont love him.

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  • If anything in a relationship scares you, GET OUT NOW. Fear is no basis for a friendship and a man who needs you to fear him is a man who may or will misuse you, abuse you, beat you and may become your killer. GET OUT NOW.

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  • Stupid girl logic... ill keep him cause i maybe not find someone better...

    end it! better for you, and better for him.

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  • Yeah, be gentle with him though. I've been in his shoes, but u gotta do right thing here even if its hard.

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  • You've got your whole damn life ahead of you. Break up with him.

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  • You have to break up with him
    There's no other way to approach it

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  • Leave.

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  • did sexual attraction (chemistry) die or there was never of any in 1st place?

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    • in the beginning it was definitely there. but as time goes on not so much.

    • i bet it was only emotional attraction, but not sexual (e. g. I love him, but I don't want to have a sex with him that much).

What Girls Said 8

  • It would be kinder to be honest with him. That way it gives him the opportunity to find someone who does genuinely want to be with him. He will never find the right person if he is holding onto the wrong one. He is only clinging to a fake promise and false hope. Its cruel to lead him to believe that you feel the same way he does.

    Eventually he will sense you don't feel the same way anyone. So even though honesty will hurt him, a lie will destroy his trust. That will be more painful for him, and it'll take him longer to get over

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  • If you stay with your boyfriend just because he loves you, you won't be very happy in that relationship, nor will it be very fair to lie to him about how you feel.
    You wouldn't be forever alone if you break up. You're still young and I'm sure that your boyfriend isn't the only guy who could ever love you. Hopefully the next guy who loves you is someone that you could love in return.

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  • You'll meet a great variety of guys at college. Just tell him you can't be in a relationship with him right now, you want to focus on your education. Or be completely honest him in that you just don't love him the way he loves you. Don't ever stay with someone because you think he's the only possible guy on the planet that might like you.

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  • You're at max 24 years of age. Move on... you WON'T BE ALONE FOREVER... I married at 29 and many other friends in their late 20s and 30s. RELLLAAXX!

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  • You are cheating both of you by staying in the relationship. be brave end the relationship. You won't be alone forever, you are about to start on another adventure at collage look forward to meeting new people you may find the love you are looking for.

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  • I was on the same situation as you. I was only with my ex (3yrs) not bc I loved hin, but bc I was used to it. It was my comfortable zone. I was also afraid of being alone. But trust me, it was the best decision I've made leaving this relationship. Now I can find a partner that brings raw passion into my life. So pls, don't waste his time or yours.
    Best wishes

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  • You can't fear anything, if you don't love him he deserves to know and you can't spend the rest of your life with him just so you're scared to be alone, you are going to college, you'll definitely meet new people. Please help with my last question

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  • If you dont love him break the fck up with him. find a guy you do love and give him the best of you. I could give you a million things not to do as i have done them all. Sadly hurt the only man ill ever love. Was ever capable of loving. Break up with him. Love hurts but find a manyou can give your best to.

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