I started seeing someone else a few months after breakup and he is great. My ex would cool off for days at a time then come on strong again begging and pleading. Because of his aggressive nature I couldn't even tell him I was involved with someone. But I tell him all the time I don't want to get back together. Then he angrily tells me that I have another man and demands to know if I do. I don't deny or admit as I am a little afraid of his reaction. Lately he has been coming on stronger than ever and is displaying worrisome behavior that is concerning me. Last week he pounded on my door yelling my name until I opened up the door. He barged in and tried to convince me to get back together. After a lot of coaxing he left but this is ridiculous. We broke up so long, why can't he just get over it?
I told him to move on and he said that he does not want anyone else. But that's not my problem. You can't force someone to be with you who clearly doesn't want to. I just want him to leave me alone.
Most Helpful Guy
Mmm. I was going to go on about how six years is a long time and that expectation creates instability. But that's some pretty aggressive behavior. I did a couple similar things when I was a young teen, really just waiting outside the girl who'd broken up with me's workplace. Mmmm. I guess that borders on creepy. But, I got the picture and learned to accept that when it was over, it was over. For a full grown man to not accept that, either he's used to getting what he wants or he's tremendously inexperienced when it comes to women, or you really did just mean a LOT to him.
If you're actually afraid, then just get a restraining order. That really sounds like the only solution, at this point, to me.
Most Helpful Girl
He's possessive, he can't get over it. That's the known fact. The thing is, you shouldn't be telling him things like 'you can't force me to stay with you', because to a person of a possessive nature, he'll go into a rage. Trust me on that.
If he's being violent, please stay away as he might harm you without thinking. Otherwise, ask him if he'd like to stay contactable, and that you'll give him time to get over it. He's overly attached, he can't accept the fact that you moved on so fast. I understand his perspective, that he wants to hold on for you. It can take him time to get over it, but meanwhile, try not to agitate him.