I've read guys saying how after their wife's cheated they wish they were stronger so they could forgive them. Some just didn't want to play cop and check their wife's phones, emails, make sure they were committed to no contact with their affair partners. How they didn't sign up to be some body's baby sitter or feel like the bad guy for asking "where are you?", "is he just only a friend?". I've read from many men hoping they could be stronger but can't.
On the other hand it seems like some are labeled weak also for forgiving too quickly or being door mats. Seems like a catch-22
Most Helpful Girl
Their is a double standard women are expected to take the man backed specially I'f their are children involved or just married. And then she is blamed for gaining weight, not having as much sex as he wants... etxwhereas men are encouraged to leave that "slut", no one says may be he isn't emotionally satisfying her, sexually or she isn't physically attracted anymore. I think it depends on the person, can your forgive and can that person seek help. their isn't a one answer to this, we tend to paint all relationships the same and treat them all the same and this is probably why they are so unsuccessful.2
Most Helpful Guy
I think sometimes men are assholes... And their woman Longs for love, and feelings that someone is attracted to her and will treat her good... In this is 99% of the time of why women cheat. Not that it's a good reason but it is a reason in which causes guilt to the man who knows he could have treated her better.
However, infidelity in any case is very difficult to get over... if a man or a woman cheats on you it is because they took you for granted and are no longer desire to be with you... I think this is very difficult for a lot of men and women in general who have been in long-term relationships to accept.
I was cheated on once... That I know of. I tried, I tried so hard to forgive her... But I couldn't get the image of her and this other guy out of my head... Feelings of betrayal... Then insecurities popped up, and I wanted so desperately to know that she was all mine and... Well, it came to the point to where I realized that but things could never be the same... so I let her go. It was one of the hardest things I had to do, but it was the only choice I had. Now I am absolutely grateful that I let her go, I don't hold any animosity towards her, I understand the relationship was crap towards the end... But it doesn't change the fact that she slept with another man.
I don't think it's about right or wrong, the heart wants what the heart wants even though the brain knows better.
I think all in all a little bit has to do with the fear of not finding someone that you can love again... All these ridiculous thoughts to come into one's head after leaving a long-term relationship.