Ok so my ex doesn't see his kids?

Ok so he's 31 and been seeing his girlfriend since August and she's 21. When he started seeing her and he stopped seeing the kids. Then seen them at Christmas then stopped then seen them on the 4th of march for an hour and not seen them since.
His family know he doesn't see his children coz i tell them but they don't want to get involved.
Anyway iv recently found out that they All friends on Facebook (i know this means nothing) but she's part of the reason he doesn't see them. Im stuck at what or how i feel about this. My girls get upset all the time and even though i would love to tell the truth i know i would hurt them so i won't.
Anyway what i want to know is if your son had kids and didn't see them coz they got a new girlfriend what would you do?

Am i in the wrong for thinking they should be a bit off with them both due to the situation. I know if my child would mess about with her childs feelings i would be well pissed and make sure she knew i would also prob not speak to her for abit.

Can someone please help me coz i feel like im going mad


Most Helpful Guy

  • The best thing you can do for your kids is not to speak ill of their father. He bears the responsibility and the cost for the decisions he makes. If he wakes up and realizes in a few years that he has missed his children's childhood, he has only himself to blame.

    Eventually, your children will see their father for how he actually is. Any efforts you make to hasten that understanding, or nudge it in a particular direction, will ultimately lead to hurt, anger, resentment, and perhaps even backlash ("he's not as bad as you say...")

    As far as his parents are concerned, look at this as an opportunity for them to step-up. The time that your ex is not spending with the kids is time they can be strengthening loving relationships with their grandparents, aunts and uncles. They shouldn't get in the middle, or interfere with their son -- but if they are wise, they will avail themselves of this opportunity to get closer to their grandkids.

    • I have never spoken bad about him to them. His family are just as bad as him they don't see the children either maybe at school. My older child doesn't even want his name

    • I'm sorry... that must be very hard for you. If the children are not getting much love from their father, they will need doubly as much from you.

    • Oh my gosh without a doubt me and my girls have a great relationship we are a very close family unit. My sister and her boyfriend also help out with them and my girls adore them, they make them mothers and father's day cards by themselfs. So i guess they already realise what is classed as a parent
      I guess maybe i need to focus on the family they have got and not the ones that don't really care enough to spend time with them

Most Helpful Girl

  • The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He doesn't seem to care much about his children so it's not a surprise that his family isn't too bothered either.
    No point in letting him see his kids anymore honestly. He can't just pop into their lives when it's convenient to him. Either he's a father or he isn't. That would also make it easier for your kids to cope. Less confusing, more consistent.

    • I totally get what your saying but i feel do bad for them but then when he stops seeing them i get mad with him, i don't let him know thou. Its so upsetting just wish he was still the same dad he was when we was together. My dad did the same to me and i really didn't want thesame for my girls

    • Then tell him to straighten out or get out. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

    • I have he had his last chance i told him i had spoken to a solicitor and they had suggested he see them once a week until the relationship with the girls was built up again. So he took them fot tea on a Friday and brought them back. ( he wanted to do that anyway) and i said that coz he said he works Saturdays to have them Sunday 12 till 4 and he didn't turn up. My girls where waiting so i said you will have to ring off your phone and his phone was turned off. He still to this day hasn't replied. I have texts to say he won't let them down but he has again. Personally i think he's telling his family and girlfriend that im not letting him see them but i also have texts asking him when he will next be seeing the girls etc. That's back from October. Just sad so very said

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  • You ex sounds like a pussy


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