Long story short my ex boyfriend and I broke up about five months ago. We've tried to be friends on and off a few times but it just doesn't work so now we are in NC. But I need to know something. My Ex is still obsessed with his ex before me. They only dated for about a month online. They've never met in real life and he says he was just smitten with her. The problem is she broke up with him about a year ago and they haven't spoken since. She's apparently getting married/gotten married already to someone else in Rl. He is still obsessing over her. Now that we are broken up and before we went NC it's all he could talk about was the possibility of her coming back to him. It drives me nuts because I've tried everything to comfort him about it. Keeping in mind he's said that she's the only girl he's ever truly loved, disregarding my feelings or saying his feelings for me were never really strong.. he constantly told me he loved me and how much I meant to him when we were dating... we dated for nearly five months (his longest real relationship) I mean harsh much? It's really quite sad that he is so delusional. I get it can take a lot to get over someone but I mean why? Why is he still so obsessed.. we ended because he had no regard for my feelings and really he was just an emotional mess. Never really emotionally available. I just don't get it. What's worse is that he makes me feel like I was just used so he wouldn't miss her as much. I want to talk to him about it because I really do think it's unhealthy and he needs to get therapy or something because I don't think he'll ever be able to hold a stable relationship till he moves on from this delusion. What can I do? I feel bad for him really.
Most Helpful Guy
He said his only relationship with her was online? Well then, he is living in a fantasy that never had the fruition to become a reality.
Yes, fantasy can be much Lovelier than reality! However... He needs to wake the fuck up.
Unfortunately he needs to drink a hard dose of reality.
Yes, I get it that you like/love him and all even though you don't really admit it with what you're saying... in my opinion, the best thing that you can do is to leave him to his own devices... Alone.
At the point when he starts Crawling Back to You wondering why you are ignoring him... You could explain that hey, I'm tired of waiting for you to come around comma if you have an interest in me you need to let me know because otherwise I'm just wasting my time. In other words... What I'm getting at is that's exactly what's happening between you and him... You are wasting your time. If he can't see what he has with you then he is not worth keeping in your life as a love interest... But if you do not leave him to his own devices, he will continue to take you for granted and will not have the opportunity to miss you or think about you or have a longing for you that you are seeking from him to find out what his true feelings are for you... My point is, is that he is probably not aware of it himself and you need to give him the time to figure that out and nothing does that quite better than the fear of losing someone and being alone to think about it.0
Most Helpful Girl
Why are you even bothering to be there for him? The guy's a loser and it sounds like has no worthwhile or positive role to play in u our life so why do you continue to let him stress you out with his dumb shit?
He's obsessed with someone he "dated" strictly ONLINE for one month? Hahaha the guy doesn't even KNOW this "ex" of his!! She's an ideal he has built up in his head and he can't get rid of the thoughts of her because, having never actually et her, he's never seem her human imperfection. You, a real life woman, could never possibly be good enough in the face of this ideal he's foolishly stuck on.
Cut him out of your life. He has a lot of growing up to do and it's not your responsibility to be there while he does it.1