I don't get why he's slandering me and how should I handle this?

My ex and I have been broken up almost half a year now. He has been talking non-stop bad things about me and our relationship to people, and there are times where I'll meet someone that has a negative prior judgment of me and doesn't really give me a chance. There are friendships that I thought I had made during that time that basically fell apart because they took his word over mine. I did my best to never once say anything bad about him to others. Sometimes I admit I would say things out of frustration, but it was never on a constant basis like this. It hurts that he's painting such a horrible picture of me to so many people I don't even know just because he says I made him so miserable. I feel really embarrassed and I'm trying not to let it get to me, but I'm finding it really difficult because he really put my business out there, things that I always thought would be in confidence between him and I. He's also put a lot of our relationship out there. I feel like I'm on some sort of reality show.

Can anyone provide some insight as to why he is doing this and how I should deal with it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is trying to hurt you did you do something to hurt him... payback is a beach..

    Is this in a school or work environment, then possibley you may have legal recourse, harrasment is something you can deal with. What he is doing will reflect badly on him in the long run if he does this to you then he will probably do this to his future partners, its sucks when someone you trust goes out of their way to do it. You haven't really explained why he is doing it, people just don't do this out of spite just for the sake of spite.

    • We just weren't compatible. I wanted to see him more than he wanted to see me, and I wanted to do a lot of things with him like make travel plans, have him come out with my friends, me go with his friends. The only thing was our personalities were like night and day, so we had a lot of communication issues. I would get upset that he kept our lives so separate, and he never wanted to talk when he was clearly unhappy, so then I would try to guess at how to make it better, but it made things worse.

    • If these are mutual friends he want you out of his life maybe so the relationship ends to do the friendships... maybe that's what he is trying to do get you out of his life... friend did this walked away from the relationship and all the friends, which is really hard to do, lose your friend support network...

    • I guess I can understand that. I just wish he knew/understood me better to know I wouldn't do something like invade his life or screw his friendships. I even took him off of our IM lists and Facebook just so he knows I don't plan on stalking him. I wish I knew what exactly I did that made him want to lash out at me like this, but I realize I'm probably never going to get an answer to that question. He was the one that broke up with me, so I thought he'd just let it go.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Did you try telling him how this makes you feel ?

    • I did several times during and after the relationship at first, but I think that made it worse somehow. He ended it, so I don't understand what more he wants.

    • Well maybe when he's upset he intends on hurting you, (as mean as it sounds) or maybe he thinks your accusing him of being a bad bf.. try telling him again and make sure you say you weren't meaning to say he was a bad boyfriend or anything.. just that it hurts a lot and you want him to stop.give it one more shot, if he doesn't try to help .. move on, he probably isn't worth it.

    • I don't think it will matter. Every time I tried to explain something to him in the past, he'd get defensive or tell me I shouldn't have to explain myself to him and he shouldn't have to explain himself to me either. I have a feeling if I try even one more time, I'm just going to make it worse. It's a little difficult for me, but I know I need to just focus on my own life and forget about it. I appreciate your input though, thanks.

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