We broke up last year it was his choice, but he continued to contact me the whole time. Sometimes he would say he loved me and missed me, then get distant. But in January he got very close and lovey with me. We webchatted a lot and he said he loved me so much and never wanted to lose me again. He even apologized for putting me through so much. Then at the end of January he became distant then he told me to find someone who will live me the way I want because he's not that guy. I told he goodbye and he'd never her from me. But he continued to text me and call me but never said he loves me since then. Now he's distant again. He did tell me through text that if by the time we're both 35 and not with anyone, that we'll just get married and be happy. It just hurts so bad because I'm still in love with him. I blocked him for 3 days then I unblocked him.
Did he really just stop loving me that fast?
Most Helpful Guy
After reading through your situation, I really can't help but feel for you in your personal matters with your... I really don't know what to call him... ex?
In short, it tells me in no uncertain terms that he does love you in some way. I am inclined to disagree with one of the commenters for the sake of saying, I dont believe he is playing games with you. Men typically dont play games, not like this over this period of time anyway.
It seems to me that he genuinely is torn about what he wants... One thing I have learned from personal experience recently, you can want something but actually delivering it are two completely different things and that is what I meaning. He loves you and clearly cares for you, he wouldn't be dragging it out like this if he didn't. He wouldn't be struggling with letting go if he didn't. But there is something clearly inhibiting him from being able to take that final step towards committal to one path or another.
This appears to be becoming cyclic for the two of you with no end in sight and herein lies the hardest thing for you to come to terms with.
It is pretty apparent that you will need to make the decision for the two of you. After all, unless something shifts ie. he works through what is going on for him, or you put an end to it, the merry-go-round seems inevitable.
Sit down and work out what options you have available to you. Have you offered to try and work through the troubles or handicaps he has with him? Have you suggested professional help? Have you explained that what is happening is not emotionally healthy for either of you as whilst you stay in this state of limbo, your progress as people in life is hindered considerably.
These are some extremely difficult questions that you need to ask yourself and the answers are clearly things that are not favourable to what you both appearingly really want. But as we all know, wants and reality are two vastly different things.
Maybe his suggestion of '35' is his way of saying that he will be ready at that stage... but nothing is certain in life, and putting a time-frame on working through whatever issue he feels is inhibiting him is not realistic and I would recommend that you dont cling to this hope.
The only thing I can suggest is, exhaust every option you have available to you to achieve your desired result. However recognise when all options are exhausted, there are times where it just sucks and there's nothing you can do.2