Did he just stop loving me?

We broke up last year it was his choice, but he continued to contact me the whole time. Sometimes he would say he loved me and missed me, then get distant. But in January he got very close and lovey with me. We webchatted a lot and he said he loved me so much and never wanted to lose me again. He even apologized for putting me through so much. Then at the end of January he became distant then he told me to find someone who will live me the way I want because he's not that guy. I told he goodbye and he'd never her from me. But he continued to text me and call me but never said he loves me since then. Now he's distant again. He did tell me through text that if by the time we're both 35 and not with anyone, that we'll just get married and be happy. It just hurts so bad because I'm still in love with him. I blocked him for 3 days then I unblocked him.

Did he really just stop loving me that fast?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi There,

    After reading through your situation, I really can't help but feel for you in your personal matters with your... I really don't know what to call him... ex?

    In short, it tells me in no uncertain terms that he does love you in some way. I am inclined to disagree with one of the commenters for the sake of saying, I dont believe he is playing games with you. Men typically dont play games, not like this over this period of time anyway.

    It seems to me that he genuinely is torn about what he wants... One thing I have learned from personal experience recently, you can want something but actually delivering it are two completely different things and that is what I meaning. He loves you and clearly cares for you, he wouldn't be dragging it out like this if he didn't. He wouldn't be struggling with letting go if he didn't. But there is something clearly inhibiting him from being able to take that final step towards committal to one path or another.

    This appears to be becoming cyclic for the two of you with no end in sight and herein lies the hardest thing for you to come to terms with.

    It is pretty apparent that you will need to make the decision for the two of you. After all, unless something shifts ie. he works through what is going on for him, or you put an end to it, the merry-go-round seems inevitable.

    Sit down and work out what options you have available to you. Have you offered to try and work through the troubles or handicaps he has with him? Have you suggested professional help? Have you explained that what is happening is not emotionally healthy for either of you as whilst you stay in this state of limbo, your progress as people in life is hindered considerably.

    These are some extremely difficult questions that you need to ask yourself and the answers are clearly things that are not favourable to what you both appearingly really want. But as we all know, wants and reality are two vastly different things.

    Maybe his suggestion of '35' is his way of saying that he will be ready at that stage... but nothing is certain in life, and putting a time-frame on working through whatever issue he feels is inhibiting him is not realistic and I would recommend that you dont cling to this hope.

    The only thing I can suggest is, exhaust every option you have available to you to achieve your desired result. However recognise when all options are exhausted, there are times where it just sucks and there's nothing you can do.

    • Thank you so much for your help, I agree with you and I think it's time that I just move on even though it's extremely hard. But I'm tired of it all, because this has been going on for a year now.

    • True!!!
      Hi can you please have a look and share your opinion on my problem in my post..

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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with Mick25 here for the most part, ye this guy did already have a relationship with you, so he can commit, breakups don't happen for no reason at all. What excuse did he give you for breaking up?

    • He became distant during the relationship and I question him and he said he needed time to think but then he broke up with me saying he was lost and needed to find himself, but even after he said that he continued to contact me and tell me that he loved me.

    • I think he does love you although there maybe something you are doing that is making him uneasy, like maybe sometimes being too clingy. If a guy needs time to think and he's not afforded that time to think, he will break up just to get that time. I haven't dated you so I don't have a reference to make a sound judgment of your situation. If you are being honest, what are you like in a relationship, are you wrought with insecurities and tend to be clingy or are you secure and aloof maybe even counter dependent, if he's scared there's a reason for it, it's either a present situation that's causing him worry or it's a past issue. I wonder too if he see's himself as successful and believes that he'll be able to provide for you, some guys bolt because they don't see themselves being able to be good providers so he will feel like he's doing you a favor until he is ready and then this would explain why he's keeping you on the hook.

  • For him to say that he loves you so much and then keep acting distant like this is a really strange behaviour, may be he never really loved you 100% in the first place, otherwise I find it hard to believe that a person can act distant on and off and yet say they love you!.


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think so, I think he's trying to let go of you but just can't. You could talk to him about this and try to understand what he's trying to do.
    I hope this helps and good luck

  • I think he's just using u. Sadly, but true. He might feel kinda lonely from time to time and since he knows you will be there for him, he doesn't even hesitate to look for you. You should give him a taste of what he does to you. Be distant as well. It's not that he stopped loving you, maybe he never did. And if he did, which doesn't seem like it, then he's just confused and doesn't know what to do...


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