How do you get over your lover?

Hi ! I am new here so hoping I can get some help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your recovery has been too slow because of hooking up with him. You should have stopped seeing long ago. It's easy said than done. I know that. The following worked for me; it could work for you too.

    # Step 1
    The first thing I do is embracing I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light. Recognising my inability to effect a desirable change is itself relieving.

    # Step 2
    I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.

    # Step 3
    I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting for her to come back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.

    # Step 7
    I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You get under somebody else ;)
    Lmao! cx

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What Guys Said 8

What Girls Said 5

  • It takes time but what I did was act like my ex didn't exist. I blocked his number and blocked him off of every social media account just so I wouldn't be tempted to go on there page. I found things that distracted me from him and just focused on myself and my schoolwork. It takes time but it was totally worth it. Whatever reminds you of your ex, get rid of it. Any gifts, etc throw it away, burn it, etc.

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  • Thats been pretty easy. All I did was consider all the shit they did to me and use that to move on. Also, tell myself am better than they are and they werent worth it in the end.

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  • Block his number.

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  • I ignore my heart completely and start having fun with those who I love

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  • Leave everything that reminds you of him !
    Delete old messages and pictures.
    Don't check out his facebook , instagram or whatever !
    Throw out all presents he gave you and don't think back of the great and fun things you did together because that will make you miss him and sad.
    Occupy yourself with sport , job , study and meeting new people is a great way as distraction.
    You always have to think you deserve someone better , someone that will give you the love and care you need without having to work hard for it.
    With these tips and some time I'm sure you'll be fine !

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