Have you ever broken up with someone on a purely rational basis?

I had to drop an emotionally damaged girl that genuinely had supressed feelings for me, and was very enjoyable to spend time with. The fact was, the extent of her damage was so much that I realized I couldn't save her. She would never become the loving and caring girl I knew she was inside, and it was time to move on.

It sucks because I thought I was smart enough and caring enough to save her. Me and @Klara-Hitler spent many hours deciphering her mental state. I wanted her so bad, I honestly fell in love, but she isn't that girl. And she may never be that girl. She's mentally gone.

I tried so hard, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sorry to hear that was the outcome. Sometimes not everyone can be saved. And we have to leave it at that. There is just no rational explanation to why

    I broke up with my ex because he cheated on me. It was strange really.. When i heard about it i thought i would have that reaction that we all see in movies, But nope. nothing. I then figured out i fell out of love a long time ago and was just holding on because i didn't want to hurt him. Which was selfish on my part. But his actions were unforgivable. I can forgive a lot of things.. but not cheating. And i also fell out of love. I just needed a wake up call.

    You'll find someone else.
    :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • DasVoz,

    Yes, I've done it a few times. Let me guess... She's very attractive physically. She's a sexual person (i. e., not uptight even though she may not have been that way with you).

    BUT... she was also batshit crazy but you accepted it because you learned her life story and about all the hard times she's had. Am I close?

    Once you meet someone new, someone who's attractive AND nice AND emotionally balanced, all the bad feelings go away. It's like trading in an old car you tried to fix for something newer and better. You might miss the old car a little, but you'll realize trading up involves letting go.

    Crude analogy, but you get the picture...

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    • Actually, her personality was very attractive, and her outward appearance was low key. She didn't hook me based on looks. We bonded emotionally, and to an extent, intellectually. For me that's equivalent to being smoking hot.

      She was also sexually repressed to an extreme and "crazy" due to childhood abuse. That was the impenetrable shell. You make a good point about justifying her lack of physical reciprocation and commitment anxiety after learning where it originates. The history.

      For some reason, it was "okay" to not get a fair deal because her past was a valid excuse. Well, it's not okay. Everything imploded because she couldn't be fixed. For what I give, I deserve someone better. Someone who recognizes me, and is not a black void.

      Yes, there are plenty of options out there and hopefully this will be a distant memory. Come to think of it, she wasn't offering much at all. It was stupid love and my own insecurity creating this.

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