I had sex with an ex boyfriend but it's a lot more complicated than that. I am married, he is going through a divorce. We were having an affair for the whole time both of us have been married and before. Our relationship has been on and off for 8 years. Last October I ended the affair because it got very serious, both of us were talking about leaving our partners for each other. The guilt of doing this became overwhelming and I ended the relationship with him. I broke his heart and he took it very hard. We cut all contact until recently when we have been speaking as friends. I genuinely believed that he had no feelings for me but I still have very strong feelings for him. I met up with his today and we couldn't keep our eyes off each other, we kissed and this led to sex. He had said repeatedly that having sex would complicate everything and he was scared of it escalating further. He wants space to figure out what he wants but I know space will end up with him cutting all ties again and I really don't want this. We go around in circles but always end up back together. I am still madly in love with him and would leave my husband for him now, not that he knows this. I have lost him once and I really don't want to lose him again. He is my soul mate. I really don't know what to do.
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I really don't know what to say, it really seems that you love him a lot, and your love for him hasn't faded away even a bit, it's strong even today.
I don't understand if you love this guy so much, if you two are soulmates then why you both didn't get married to one another?, I mean why get married to different partners whom you both don't love and then have an affair behind their backs?
It doesn't make sense.
However the truth is that you are married and you are not doing any justice to your husband by having an affair with this guy.
What you can do now is, you both ( you and the guy having affair) should talk to one another and be clear as to what you want and how you see things going in future.
It's clear that you love him and you also said that you would leave your husband to be with him, so from your end you seem to be clear, but then what about him? does he also love you the same way and does he want to be with you?
If he also feels the same way as you and wants to be with you, then you should really take divorce, end your marriage and then do whatever you want to do. There is no point in being in an unhappy marriage and then having an affair behind his back, that only puts you in a poor light. Don't do that, come out of that marriage.
However before you do anything, talk to the guy and make sure he also wants the same as to what you want and that he also loves you.
That's all I can say.0