It has nearly been a year since me & my ex girlfriend broke up over me liking someone else we haven't talked since then & I've missed her like crazy so I'm going to surprise her tomorrow and bump into her when she finishes work with a bunch of roses I know she is engaged to a guy but I believe it was only a rebound & she still has feelings for me so doing this tomorrow just may win her back for me I'd like some advice on whether this move is good or bad
Most Helpful Girl
The way I see it, this could go one of 3 ways.
1) You're right - it's only a rebound, she still has feelings for you, and she'll take you back if you try. But if that's the case, she's REALLY not the kind of girl you should be with - who gets engaged to their rebound fling? She'd be needy and you'd probably get sick of her soon enough anyway. Not that I really think this is the most likely scenario.
2) Perhaps she's even told you flat out that this other guy's really just a rebound and she still has feelings for you. In which case, she's f***ing with you, or him, or both of you, because she's told this other guy that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. And why would you want to be with someone like that? She'd be selfish and dishonest. Not that I really think this is the most likely scenario either. Besides, you said you haven't spoken since then, so how would you know that she still wants you?
3) You're wrong. You're in denial and you need to move on.
'It's been nearly a year' - that's a lot of time for her to leave this guy and come back to you. Honey she's not just trying to make you jealous or get over you anymore - she's found someone she loves who loves her back, which is something you couldn't give her. You told her you liked someone else. Which means you didn't love her. Which HURTS. Don't expect her to just forgive you for it. She may be over it, but that doesn't mean she'd take you back. A bunch of roses sure as hell can't make up for emotional cheating.
'I've missed her like crazy' - you always want what you can't have. If you got her back, you'd probably stop liking her again, and she'd get hurt again. Have you been with anyone else? Sounds like you just want 'someone' and anyone would do, but she's the last girl who was attracted to you so you think your best chance is with her. Consider why you liked someone else before. It might just happen again.
I'd like to know how you'd know if she still has feelings for you if you haven't spoken in nearly a year. Honestly, it sounds like you're just not accepting the truth. How do you know it'd be better with you than with this guy? She's agreed to marry him, but you liked someone else. Kind of implies it'd be the other way around - she'd be much better off with him. If you really love her, let her be happy. And learn from this experience and move on yourself.
I can understand you may still want to go ahead with it. My ex fell out of love with me and started being horrible to me in a few ways for a while afterwards. Everyone told me to move on but I couldn't. I needed to see for myself that he truly didn't want me anymore. Perhaps that's what you need. But if you do go, go prepared for her to say no and to leave you feeling humiliated with a bunch of roses. She may even be offended - if that ex of mine came back to me and said everything you've just said, I would definitely be offended. The way I see it, you ought to let her get on with her life, and get on with yours.1