Me & my boyfriend of 9 month haven't officially split.
The short story is, I messaged him saying that maybe we want different things. I felt like he wanted something a bit more casual (not physically).
He mentioned that we've never said I love you, even though he said it to me once, months ago. The next day he was being ok with me and messaging me normally, but he's been sick & doesn't want to see anyone. (He was feeling ill last time i saw him). Bronchitis maybe. Haven't seen him in over 2 weeks. He said maybe we could meet up last weeend to clear the air, but we didn't because he got worse.
I spoke to him Sunday to see if he was OK & he said "Not really. Still in bed. But better. Really hope you're ok, but I've been so ill & I'm useless. I'm really sorry."
He might feel unwell, but he isn't fighting for us. But I don't know if he knows it's over. Do I move on silently, or send him a message saying its obviously not working? Sunday was the last time I spoke to him & he hasn't been online.
Most Helpful Guy
Out of curiosity, what do you personally mean by "Not fighting for us" do you fight you guys, it seems to me I read this a lot and it's like a woman has the expectation that a guy has to fight for them, yet she sits back and acts in an entitled manner, if you love d the guy and valued the relationship, then you would have to participate wouldn't you? If you expect him to do all the work, then he may not feel like he's making any progress, and so he may feel disenchanted, because although you two are in a relationship it's seems to be treated on your end more like a title not like something you need to nurture. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see where you were trying to make things work, relationships are give and take, it takes two to make them work. If he doesn't have his heart into it, then you are doing something wrong.0
Most Helpful Girl
Wait until he is better! what do you mean by casual (not physical) - are you talking about like a serious relationship that eventually builds towards marriage? You shouldn't rush things, and it definitely sounds like you guys haven't talked about it properly. If I were you I wouldn't be so quick to give up hope, maybe he just wants to take things slow... but you won't know unless you talk about it and are fully open with one another. To me it sounds like he isn't fighting for you because he doesn't feel like it's over... I mean I could be wrong... but it all comes down to what has and hasn't been said. The question is... Do you want to be with him? If yes well you can works things out hopefully, and like I've said like 5 times already, you just need to talk... don't go into the conversation with intentions on ending things, see what he has to say first and see if you can work things out :) Good luck!1
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