Am I as terrible as he says I am?

My ex and I were together for five long years of complete and utter disregard and humiliation on his part. There were some good times, but I would have to say that 85% of it was nothing but insults, cruel jokes, control and game playing from him. With a lot of encouragement from my friends and family, I forced myself to go out, work on my appearance and meet new friends. Long story short, I started talking on the phone to a former guy friend for one month before leaving my emotionally abusive ex. Once I saw that I could have other friends, and that a man could still find me attractive, I left my ex. I then began hanging out with and sleeping with my friend. It turned out to just be a friends with benefits thing, but I was doing fine, enjoying the single life, hanging out with my girlfriends and with the new guy on occasion. It felt nice to not be under someone's control, and to just have fun for a change. Lo and behold, my ex comes back around, actually acting like he cares and apologizes. We slept together a few times, and even tried on several occasions to get back together, but it never worked. Sometimes he would find out that I had spent time with the new guy and he would flip out. Now he says I played him for a fool because I slept with him and the new guy these last few months, even though I tried to explain that it was not my intention, that I only covered up my new situation to avoid hurting him, and that new guy is not exclusive with me.
He says he wishes I were dead, that I'm a whore, a piece of trash, and that he hopes I'm struck down.
I feel like garbage. Am I really so terrible?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No you're not garbage if in totally honest not to sound rude but you actually seem like you have some sort of emotional issue which can be down to all sorts of things. Bullying at school , not enough attention from parents etc etc general life expectations not met you my dear needs SELF FULFILLMENT. Concentrate on you and your dreams no excuses just do them once you start to feel like you e accomplished the things you always wanted to do I think you may be happier with yourself. Don't rely on other guys , sex etc that isn't happiness. Also it's not friends with benefits it's a rebound. You was still emotionally invested in this previous guy it takes months to heal from any kind of break up. People use rebounds to block out the pain and loneliness of break ups but later find that the pain is there. As for your ex PEOPLE can change but I think he may also not be happy with him self so he needs to find self FULFILLMENT but not from a relationship. That would explain the name calling you need to become that kind of woman that he needs he needs to sort his shit out and respect you and then after you made him fight for you you might decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No your not. I really want to encourage to leave your ex for good. You don't need anyone saying negative things to you like that, you deserve to be happy. Don't let him manipulate you into believing what he says about you. Leave him & continue to be happy doing your own thing.

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What Guys Said 1

  • no you are not a bad person. he is. even though you are no longer with him you are still under his control. you need to get and stay away from him pertinently. thats the only way you will only find true happiness

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What Girls Said 2

  • You are not a bad person.
    You were doing what anybody who had been treated like that would have done.. Moved on and pieced yourself back together, or attempted to.
    He sounds like a mind controlling manipulative piece of sh*t and you can and must do better.
    God forbid you go back to something so toxic because my dear he will screw you up good and proper.
    Get away from him for good and better yourself.
    End the hold he has on you to heal and love yourself again.
    Wishing you all the best

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  • Yup pretty much

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