I think I analyzed it to shreds?

I used to talk to a girl in my class for 3 months and eventually I asked her for coffee and then I asked her on a date----this was my first time doing this. She said yes to both. But, long story short, after that, she'd make excuses not to see me. She never told me outright "I don't want to" or "I'm not interested"...she'd act interested, but when the time came to make a decision, she would make an excuse.

Okay, fine, that's okay.

So I decided to take what I could from this experience and move on. It's been three months since I saw her last, a little over two months since we communicated. Now, people say not to overanalyze situations, advice that has served me well in the past and calmed me down. However, I've gotten advice, on this site particularly, to think about the experience I had with her and analyze what I did wrong or right and improve on them for next time.

The problem is, every day I still think about the memories and analyze them, and I've been doing this ever since I last saw her (three months ago) to the point where now it seems like I did everything wrong with her. Now it seems like every interaction I've had with her there was a mistake on my part and that's breeding more negativity and I get angry at myself. It's to the point where there's no happy or good memories, just excruciating ones.

In other words, it's gotten to the point where acknowledging the fact I made mistakes (real or imaginary) is painful in and of itself.

Can someone help me to just "not worry" about everything? I've analyzed so much that now I'm not SURE it's over, even though I well knew that a few months ago. I'm questioning everything.


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What Girls Said 1

  • sounds like you feel like things just stopped between the two of you instead of just ending. I don't know what happen btw you too but it seems like ur putting all of the blame on yourself. Maybe ur trying to give yourself excuses as to why she pushed you away because you don't know the real answer why. It's been about 3 months so most likely she moved on already so it's better to just learn from ur mistakes and move on to the next girl. It also seems like you feel guilty about the situation. But it's good that you analyzed the issue because most guys don't.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Stop sitting around and beating yourself up over this issue. So she didn't like you, it's not the end of the world.

    Take the energy you're spending analyzing this situation and pursue other girls.

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