I know I'm pathetic, but I seriously need some help?

I haven't seen nor talked to her nor otherwise communicated with her in roughly four months.

And yet I still look at my phone more than once a day to see if she texted or called.

It was only yesterday that it REALLY hit me that she definitely will not contact me again. I felt the whole blow of the situation: that I've been expecting a text from her for the past four months, her being on my mind every day, and yet she has moved on and hasn't thought about me or thought about contacted me. Not only does the fact that she's moved on hurts, I also feel like a loser for wasting my time like this.

But I'm having trouble glancing at my phone without a sensation in my stomach. I've tried turning it off, but the sensation gets worst whenever I turn it back on in anticipation of her (imaginary) text.

A day after I communicated with her for the very last time, I shut off my phone for days at a time, thinking to myself: "Hah! Now if she texts me she won't get a reply because I'm forcing myself not to." Of course, that was pointless because she never texted me again anyway.

And I'm also having trouble expecting her to text me because there are several reasons for her to, i.e. stuff in the media that should remind her of me, the fact that she has a book she started reading that I gave her, stuff in my family she knew about that was going to happen, etc. But when she hasn't contacted me despite all that stuff, that's when it really sunk in yesterday.

But I'm having a really hard time fighting it.
I know I'm pathetic, but I seriously need some help?
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