Want to apologize to the girl I abandoned. Should I?

My girl & I were together for four years. We were talking about getting married, planning to move in together, looking at engagement rings, etc. Then she overshared a personal story with her friend that I worked with & I told her I wanted some space & I'd talk to her in a bit. Unfriended her & her friends on FB & Snapchat. Stopped talking to her completely. She called me in a week, apologizing & asking to talk about it, but I didn't answer. She tried again a couple of times, but I wouldn't talk to her. I decided it was over & she'd get the hint, right? She must have gotten it, because she stopped trying.

Well, two months later, I found myself looking up her Twitter, her blog every day. She had blocked me on FB. Even my friends couldn't find her when I asked them to look her up. She wrote about her new job. Her trips to the gym. But I was obsessed. So, I messaged her best friend and said I wanted to apologize. She told her friend (huge betrayal of my privacy on her friend's end) & my ex emailed me saying while she was angry that I went to her friend instead of talking to her, she'd still listen if I wanted to talk. I ignored it. I don't know what to say. I think she caught on to my cyberstalking, because she changed her Twitter handle & stopped updating her blog. I'm too embarrassed to go there now.

Should i apologize? Keep ignoring her?


0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • The way of ignoring her was slightly immature. If you no longer love her and no longer see a future together be blunt. Tell her there is no chance. If you want to apologize for the way everything happened then send her the email, but be blunt that you no longer want her as your girlfriend.
    If you want her back you need to swallow your pride and work through things slowly.
    Whatever decision you make, be extremely blunt with her about it. It's only fair that you allow her to know the truth and either move forward with you, or without you.
    p. s. tip - don't start an argument no matter what...

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's the thing. I told her friend I didn't want to get back with her, but my ex still said she was willing to hear me out. I don't know what I want. I'm afraid if I talk to her, I'll just beg her to take me back & I'm afraid I might do this again. She kept telling me that we didn't need to rush into marriage & I kept pushing her to admit she wanted to marry me. Then she made me mad & I cut her out. I know I overreacted & she was never anything but good to me, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to give her marriage & a life. So I ignore her, hoping she's not waiting for me to talk to her.

    • Show All
    • I don't know. What if I talk to her & I realize how much I love her? I've been ignoring her because just the sound of her voice makes me want her. She's always put up with so much of this from me, weeks of the silent treatment because I'm mad & she never gets mad, just offers to talk when I'm ready. Even this time, she would cry on my voicemail once a week & ask what she could do to make it better & she just wanted me to know she was there when I was ready. I'd ignore her. Maybe I pushed her too far this time. Maybe she's just so angry (she said in her message she was angry, that my contacting her friend crossed a line). Her friend said she still loves me & now I don't know what I want. Do I want to be with her? Did I hurt her too badly that I don't deserve her? So, I'm ignoring her.

    • If you're missing the sound of her voice then I'd say that you still have some feelings towards her. You also seem worried about how she's going to react. I'd say you still want her. But honestly? How will you feel when she falls in love with some other guy, when he has his arms wrapped around her and she's laughing and extremely happy? Do you want to be the guy with his arms around her? Or are you willing to let another guy have her? She'll only wait for you so long.
      Life is short. Go after what you love and don't look back.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Way too many games! All of this has gone much too far to have a lot of hope to be able to get back together. At this point your choices seem to be to contact her directly to apologize for everything to make peace between you, or leave her alone entirely.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • It depends if you have feelings really. I mean there answer is obvious based on whether or not you have feelings is the question.

    0|0
    0|0
  • reflect then be open and discuss issues... and settle to be togherther or not... best

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • Not really if you want to get back toegether? She's open and probably hiding things so you won't have a reason to not try again?

    0|0
    0|0
    • What would she be hiding? She's a pretty honest person, probably too honest & too nice. That's why I feel so badly about what I did. She honestly believed if she just apologized & gave me space, I would talk to her. She trusted me completely, even when mutual friends told her I wasn't coming back, she would tell them that I swore if she gave me time, I would. She trusted me, and I just ignored her.

    • Show All
    • She's been neither. The attempts she made to reach me were very kind. She wanted me to know if I wanted to talk, she was there. We could discuss why I was angry & work on it together so we were both happy. But I know how much ignoring her hurts her, so I just kept doing it. I figured if she felt badly, she'd learn her lesson. Then I realized maybe I was too hard on her. But I don't know what to say.

      I think she's blocked me on FB. I couldn't find her when I tried to look her up. My friends couldn't either. That's why I went to her Twitter. Her friend I messaged has blocked me on FB. she told me man up & do it myself & then a day later had me blocked.

    • Maybe she's hurt that you ignored her maybe she isn't but she sure wants to reconcile but maybe she was lonely at that moment in time it's a difficult situation to be in its never straight forward and love is hardly ever a smooth ride. Especially in this day in age. I would give her some time or just say what you truly feel but avoid the missing part just say you felt hurt and confused and that you wanted her to feel your pain I've done this before to my ex I know what it's like sometimes you just need to forget the pain , hurt and anger and listen to each other.

  • Looking for a relationship... is like looking for the noose!!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;