My boyfriend of over a year told me he has been questioning our relationship and feels uncertain, and that he doesn't know if we're what's best for each other. He told me that he still loves me and is in love with me, but that we should spend some time apart (aka, breakup) and he hopes the feelings go away and that when he "comes begging on his hands his knees" that I'll accept him back. The last thing he ever texted me was "I love you so much." Up until this whole breakup thing, our relationship was as good as anybody's. We had talked about getting married, being together forever, our hopes/dreams, etc., all of those things that made everything seem like we were on the same page. All of a sudden, last week, he didn't want to see me anymore and I had no idea he was feeling this way.
In addition, his dogs still are staying at my house because his apartment doesn't allow dogs, but it's been over a week since he ended things and he has not said one thing since the breakup and that was "I'll make arrangements to get the dogs out of there as quick as I can.". He hasn't come to get any of his belongings (more than just a toothbrush, he has valuable things that I know he cares about getting back), and so I'm just completely confused by what is going on.
Why did he do this? Is there any hope for us? Should I reach out and see how he feels?
Most Helpful Guy
Sounds like he got some new pussy, to me. How much has he played the field? Because that's generally important. People have to know what's out there.
Only thing you can do is wait and see. Don't contact him. Don't talk to him at all. Some time apart could be good for the relationship, actually. Really, it's the only saving grace of the relationship. If he spends some time apart, then realizes "Oh, I really miss her." Then there you go. But, if you go desperately clawing at his heels, then he'll be like "shit, come on."
After some time, then asking him what is going on would be best, in my opinion. After a couple weeks, you need to understand exactly what his issue with the relationship is. But, the fact that he didn't tell you exactly what was wrong with the relationship leads me to believe that he's got a different girl. Or maybe he wants to go out, get laid, then come back. Or maybe he didn't want to actively cheat on you, so he proposed some "time apart", so it wouldn't technically be cheating. I've done stuff like that before.
In any case, only thing you can do is accept his proposal, at this point, in my opinion. Seeming desperate--right now--wouldn't be a good thing, in my opinion. Giving him some time, then trying to get in contact with him to determine why exactly he needed that time, would be best, in my opinion.0
Most Helpful Girl
Sounds to me likes he's getting cold feet about the next level of commitment.. things have been going really great.. next step is to move in together and live as a common law couple. It's causing him to question whether building a future together with you is really what he wants right now. Maybe he has other things he always dreamt he'd do with his life that he hasn't done yet and with things getting serious with you, he may never get to do them. Things like that.
My advice would be to give him some space and time to think. I know it's hard, but I think that's the best thing you can do if you want this to work out in the end. He needs to think and if you put too uh pressure on him for answers you could push him away completely.
Best of luck and I hope it works out for you!1