Send my ex who dumped me 3 months ago a "Happy Birthday" email / $25 gift card?

Ok, her and I were together only 6 months, but I was in love with her when she broke it off and began (behind my back until I found out accidentally) seeing someone whom I thought was a friend of mine.. I will not talk to this guy ever again and have erased him from my life as he was obviously never a real friend to do such a dirth bag thing... however, even though I am deeply hurt and even angry about her doing this to me, I can't help but still love and care about her and just want to keep things on good terms with us -- not because I want her back, nor do I expect her to ever want me back, but because I simply want to remain life long friends, as I've managed to remain with my other ex's including my wife of 18 years.

I was going to get her a $25 Nordstrom e-gift card and tell her to "Have a salmon caesar salad and creme brulee on me!" since that was one regular meal when we ate there...

Yes / No? Why?

  • Yes - can't hurt to send good vibes into the universe
  • No - you'll look needy, or you'll come off as pathetic
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wow, how could I have been so mistaken as to think this was an honorable and high road thing to do...
well, today is her birthday and I did not send it... the silence will speak louder than the gift I believe... I'm also very angry that she chose to start dating a friend of mine right after we broke up... that's almost an insult and I deserve someone who cares about me more than this. Thanks all for the good advice.. I am a stronger man now because I was once weak.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No. You will look absolutely pathetic. She will laugh at you and feel empowered by your obvious neediness.
    To borrow a line from the gangster movies: she is dead to you.

    • why would she laugh at me? She doesn't hate me... if anything she feels bad for betraying me for my friend... it's not like she's satan.

What Girls Said 1

  • Dont send her money. Your not obligated to send anything. And gift cards are no better.. it puts off an unintentional materialistic vibe.


What Guys Said 2

  • No, don't. It's not a matter of looking pathetic. Rather, you'll ultimately feel like she owes you. And what happens when she gives you nothing on your birthday? You'll feel like trash.

  • I think it's fine to say happy birthday to her but I wouldn't give her anything