He's17, am I controlling his life? or am I a crazy phsyco b****?

Ive been with my boyfriend 3 years in may. He's 17 & I'm 18. He's going his first holiday abroad this year without his parents and he's going with 2 girls & 2 boys, I wasn't happy as one of girls is his ex but we came to an agreement & I'm fine with him going now. I was on his bebo page and seen this girl in his school who he's always hanging around with had left a comment saying ''cant wait till the caravan holiday, hurry up Easter holidays'' so I phoned him like what the hell? and he's just kept saying I moan if he does anything with his girl pals. its really the fact he hasn't planned to do anything with me this summer as we've been together 3 years and haven't did anything together. so I told him if he goes then were finished & he choose the holiday .. I'm so upset but I'm trying to act like I don't bother. any advice, or am I really controlling his life like he's saying ? xx


Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems like you have some trust issues here. I don't know if anything happened to you in the past where you got cheated on or betrayed by someone, but that doesn't mean that you're psycho. I can totally understand why going on a holiday where his ex is going to be there would make you feel uncomfortable, especially if you know she's still attracted to him. Why not patiently explain this to him, ask him how he would feel if YOU were going on holiday with an ex boyfriend of yours. Tell him that you're doing your best to trust him, but that you don't trust that the girl's motives are entirely pure. If he's never given you any reason not to trust him in the past, then while it may make you uncomfortable to watch him go...you really don't have a good enough reason to give him such an ultimatum. Which sucks, because I've been exactly your situation, but you have to look at it logically and make a decision that's not based on jealousy or anger.

    3 years is a lot of history to just throw away, but you're also young and he may want to get out there and date other people. You two should sit down to discuss your feelings and where you see your relationship going. Don't just leave it like that. If you're going to part then at least get some closure out of it.

    • Yeah I understand & I do have trust issues, he's cheated before. I am kinda jealous though that he would want to spend a lot of time with those other girls as he sees them everyday in school anyway & the only thing we do together is go to the cinema haha. it wouldn't be the first time he's choosen them before me. thanks for your advice! maybe I am being abit angry & jealous and should speak to him about it all .

    • Definitely talk to him about it. If he's cheated before and your gut is telling you that since he's willing to choose them over you, knowing his past behavior, that he's likely to cheat again....it might be time to move on. If you have to spend every day you're apart while he's on holiday worrying about whether or not he's gonna cheat...it's not worth it. It makes you feel like an emotional wreck and it's just not worth compounding the trust issues you already have.

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What Guys Said 1

  • So like your single right... find someone else move on... lots of other people out their.


What Girls Said 1

  • Your not controlling his life. He's 17; he doesn't know what the hell a controlling girlfriend is yet. lol. Find a dude your age, or older.

    • Yeah I think he's still really immature, and he wants it all .. a relationship but still able to hang around with all these girls & act like he's single.

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