My boyfriend called me on Monday in tears saying he was emotionally drained and he couldn't do this anymore. I started crying and had to have my best friend talk to him. He told her that I couldn't trust him...I admit I'm very insecure about myself and I have not tried to change my ways insecure/controlling because he said he would, "Never leave me." So I stayed in my "comfort zone" for months and never tried to change. He has a research paper due this coming Monday to be published and he said he was getting no writing done because he would find himself thinking of us. So Monday he said he looked in the mirror and didn't see himself because how emotionally drained he's been. He told my friend that he loves me again and again and she can tell he really wants to be with me...the old me,...all I'm asking from him is one more chance to prove I CAN change. I told her to tell him to please listen to me and consider what I have to say. He told my friend he wants this to, but it is going to have to wait until after Monday when his paper is sent off and he has to concentrate on that since it's pressing but will talk with me when he's done. I wrote him a letter explaining everything and asking for one last chance. It's killing me not talking to him. He said it has to be this way because I'm a distraction to his paper since we would be arguing so he will have to get his paper turned in first. Is there any chance left? I mean he says he wants to listen and take into consideration what I have to say. Help please!
Most Helpful Girl
If he's willing to talk to you then that is already a step in the right direction. You should use this little window of time without him to reflect on things. Think about what you really need to change and the best way to begin implementing those changes. When you go to see him, show him that you already have a plan in place. This will show him that you are serious about changing your behavior. I don't know if you have trust issues and that is the reason why you are "insecure/controlling" as you say, but you may want to explain why it is you feel the way that you do. If you were betrayed or cheated on in the past, let him know that it has been a difficult thing for you to get over and that while it is not fair in anyway to punish him for that with controlling behavior, you just didn't know the right way to express your concerns to him. This should get a dialogue going between you. This way you both can begin to evaluate your relationship and where you see things going.0