My high school sweetheart, who cheated on, lied, used me for sex and told me to get out of his life 4 years ago wants me back now... what should I do?

Long story short. I had a high school sweet heart who I was with for 2.5 years. we always talked about getting married and he told me I was the love of his life. Eventually, he got tired of being in a relationship and broke up with me. He admitted he had cheated on me twice but kept it a secret for a month. after the break up, he told me we were still going to get married and that he was always going to love me. we continued seeing each other for a while and he always treated me as if we were dating, but then admitted he had been using me for sex. he then told me that he had been cheating on his other girlfriend with me and that I should get out of his life because he loved her and not me. he blocked me on all social media and I didn't hear from him until recently he sent me a message asking how I was and telling me how sorry he was for everything he had done and that he took me for granted and that he was never able to find another girl like me. he says he has changed and has left his partying days behind and wants to settle down. should i give him another chance? I never stopped loving him, and he was a great boyfriend before he wanted to party and be single...

  • give him another chance, he seems sincere
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  • if you give him another chance, you will just get hurt again. people like this don't change
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  • other- explain
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  • results
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't do it, based on the "4 years" part, the two of you probably aren't even 22. It may be sincere but I doubt he's much different.

    I don't believe the "people don't change" thing, it's not true, but he was a huge asshole to you before, so I would be super careful.

    For example, I had a friend who was always an asshole to me and my friend and insulted and argued with us for no reason at all, and had problems with us for no reason. We didn't talk for almost 2 years, then started talking again, and I thought he changed. Because he acted like it at first. But after several months it turned out that he didn't, and he did the same shit again, and I decided we would stop talking permanently.

    So I mean, if you do still love him, maybe talk to him but don't let him get close to you right away. I think you should just keep your distance for like quite a while actually (like 6-12 months) but keep in contact... if he just wants sex, which is most likely, then he would probably give up or show the same behavior.

    Honestly I don't think you should talk to him, but you make it sound like you're going to do it regardless of the answers because you actually want him. If so, just make sure you have boundaries and a lot of self respect and stick to that. Don't be forgiving, get away from him if anything he does reminds you of how he used to be.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You've been cheated on, used for sex and been told to disappear from his life and u are still saying give him a chance? No girl. Just no.
    he got bored of being in a relationship with u so he decided to cheat on u, not once.. But twice.. Second thing, he cheated on his other girlfriend with you AFTER the break up and then he said he doesn't love you... And now he wants to block you. Honey, he hurt you so much, what did u do to deserve that? From what u wrote, you did NOTHING. What makes u sure he won't get bored of u again and go cheat on u for the third time ( if not more)?
    if u REALLY think he's not messing around this time and u think he changed then I have another idea. You could now just enjoy time together. No sex. And no talking about marriage or relationships, just like "friends". Why? Well like that u can try notice the things he changed in himself, and if he's honestly true about what he's saying. And after a month or more, if u see he actually changed and u think u want to give him a chance then... Alright.
    I would go with the option of leaving him and not going back again honestly. You can't let someone use you like a doll, coz u aren't.

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What Guys Said 24

  • he's gotta prove himself more than some social media message. if you really want to consider taking him back (which me personally probably wouldn't), I'd tell him that you guys need to re-establish a friendship before anything else

    he needs to work to earn your trust, respect and affection back

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  • Don't give him a chance... ...
    Although they say that people have the best love relationship.. If they have it in high school... It's like the first person your heart chooses to mate with and you will easily fall in love with that person over and over again..

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    • why shouldn't I give him another chance?

    • Well if you can pay the price of getting hurt by him again although even if you break up in future he will return to you again.. Because he is addicted to you..

  • If you are smart, you will get rid of him. But then again, if you were smart, you would not have been with him all that time he admitted using you.

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  • I voted A just for a laugh, stop loving assholes and aim higher.

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  • This guy has a privilege of cheating...

    Your should definitely stay away from that guy...
    And if you are even a little smart you will stay away from him...

    I'f you have more self esteem you will go back to him

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    • what would be the result if I gave him another chance?

    • He be good or bad... But it. Looks like it will be bad... Cause he has a problem being faithful...

  • Do not let the guy back into your life.. but tell him one day you found another that is 12 times better then you ever were.. and he does not cheat or use me like you did

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  • You should give him another chance if you still care, but you need to have a long talk about why he did these things and acted like that.

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  • even though you might still have feelings for him dont do it. he is doing the same thing he did in the past. he knows what buttons on you to push to get what he wants. so i feel he is doing it again.

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  • Tell him to get out of your life

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  • USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN !! IF YOU DONT THINK OF AN IMMEDIAT "NO!" YOU NEED A SHRINK !

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  • There are a ton of guys out there that won't cheat or use you for sex. I've been cheated on by a girl and I could never date her again or trust her.

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  • He doesn't seem he deserves another chance.

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  • Your ex boyfriend sound very immature and very selfish. I doubt he cares about you more, than about his desires being satisfied by somebody.

    This is my mere superficial take, of course.

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    • selfish in the way where he will do whatever he wants regardless of how it will affect others? should I give him another chance?

    • also, what makes him immature? thanks by the way, its nice to hear an opinion from a stranger who is not biased

    • Selfish as in a child who is not yet able to think outside of the bounds of himself; as in: I am hungry, therefore I want to eat or I am horny, so I need to f*** somebody. He will always put others behind what is most important to himself, at this moment. Please ask yourself what kind of relationship such a person going to be able to have?

  • Honestly, if I was in your shoes, I'd just stay civil with him and wouldn't go any further than that.

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    • would it be a bad idea to give him another shot?

    • Remain civil for now, like I said. If you notice a change, then go for it, if not stay away.

      All in all though, it's your call. I personally would just stay civil and take it no further.

  • this guy seems the kind of person who beleives that only because he told you what he did was wrong it dooesnt matter anyomer, i wouldn't consider getting even near him,

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  • Men do not change, he will hurt you i guarantee, dont do it.

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  • the fact you list all the shit he's done as asked this tells me you should go back to him.

    you dumbass. gain some self resepct and a healthy self esteem

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  • nope, let him come after you, but dont give him a chance

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    • why not?

    • becasue now you have moved on, let the past be past, if someone leave you once for someone else, there is nothing hold back them to do it again.

  • if were me I woulda laughed in his fuckin face.

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  • i think u mean 4 years later. if this was ago this wouldn't be a current question

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  • Forget and move on.

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  • silly women, again the alpha male showed you how its done. and you keep coming back for more. its not even free will. your effin brain is wired for it.

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  • Did you just graduate from Troll school?

    You do know he doesn't give a shit about you

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  • Yeah you should give him another chance

    (so you can learn your life lesson here)

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    • what life lesson would that be?

What Girls Said 23

  • first of all, have some standards. this guy has already proven that he's an ass, so how about finding someone who likes you for you and doesn't get off on pounding your self-esteem into the ground?

    is it possible that he is sincere? yes. but is it also possible that he's lying through his teeth, because he knows you'll put up with his shite behaviour and take him back, even though he's treated you like dirt before? absolutely.

    (by taking him back, you are telling him that you're okay with his treatment of you. because everyone just loves being manipulated and lied to, amirite?)

    if you are 100% sure that you want to give him a chance, proceed with caution. keep it light and don't get too involved right away. or you could just grow a spine and, you know, tell him where to go.

    -von

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  • I honestly don't think this guy is going to change. We don't really know the full details here, but did his girlfriend recently give him the boot?

    Ex's seem to come out of the woodwork when they are in turmoil. They be missing you when their new girl doesn't want them anymore! in my opinion this guy is bad news. He has a history of cheating on you and then telling you he doesn't love you. Do you really want to be with a guy who is going to pull that crap on you again?

    Also, he wasn't a good boyfriend before, because he cheated and told you he never loved you. Someone who is a good partner, doesn't do that!

    I think you would be better off finding a guy who has no issues being faithful. Someone who isn't going to tell you they don't love you.

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  • Don't give him a damn chance!

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  • Use his advances to build your self confidence after what he did. Take the new self confidence out to meet the man of your dreams and leave this guy in your dust.

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  • How could you trust someone who lied to you, cheated on, and used you for sex? Not to be rude but he sounds like a jerk to me no offense. If a guy cheats on you once he will do it again. If you ask me he sounds a bit immature and unsure of what he wants. You have to have standards you can't just settle for just anyone have standards. Because if you don't they'll just treat you like crap. People like that don't change. Once they see the that person they are with isn't working out with them they start running back to you. Find yourself a nice loving young gentlemen that will love you and treat you right.

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  • People like him really don't change. He just came back to you because he found nobody else like you which he himself admitted. If he one day finds someone better than you chance is he would again leave you alone for the girl. It's not love hun. His love ended that day when he cheated on you not once but twice. A cheater will always be a cheater no matter how good excuse he has. Do you still want this douchebag in your life? And sorry for my language.

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  • Read what you wrote and explain to me how this is even an option? Your expression of his treatment of you makes it clear: he has nothing to offer you that you'd be interested in. None of what you've recounted sounds like anything anyone would want second helpings of! The world is full of eligible men who could only treat you better after that sorry list of fails. Don't go back. Go forward.

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  • Drop him!

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  • I literally read the first line and warning bells went off

    Don't do it

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  • Tell him to go eat dicks. Tell him to find the biggest, grossest bag of assorted dicks and to eat them all. You don't need that swine in your life, you've got better things (and men) to do.

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  • tell him to FUCKOUTTA you life! sista.

    Don't give the asshole the benefit of the doubt and aim higher!!!
    :)

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  • I would think b but it would be hard and if it continued after the fact again the id make the difficult decision to end it

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  • how horny for him are you? do you still remember sex with him and fantasize about it? If so, go for it!

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  • If it were me- I'd give him another shot if I still cared about him but I'd be extremely weary and lay down the law that if he does any of that again I'm gone forever

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  • That's crazy! Tell him where to shove it. You don't need men like that in your life. If he can do it once then he can do it twice

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  • Talk to him and try to see if he's really changed. Here's what I've heard: Everyone will hurt you, you just have to find the people that are worth the pain.

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  • Those words and actions are harsh, allow him in your life only if you want to, take it slow make him chase and prove it to you, once you start realizing your the only one giving then back off try and tell him your needs and if it doesn't work say goodbye for good

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  • dont do it

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  • depends do you believe him

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    • im not really sure considering i haven't talked to him in a while

  • I think you will end up heartbroken, how could you ever trust him again?

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  • Cut him out of your life cause we all know he will only hurt you again

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  • No. Find a good man. This douchebag doesn't deserve a girlfriend at all. Definitely do not take him back.

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  • runnnn

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