Would a controlling guy break up with his girlfriend just because he found out he couldn't control her?

Like if they've been dating for a while and he tells her what to wear and is jealous and has a bad temper and tries to control her...and eventually wants her to give him access to her email account, and she says no?

If the relationship seemed to be going well and she expected to get engaged, and then after she said no about the email, he broke up with her - would the reason for the breakup be that he found out he couldn't control her? Or is it likely to be some other reason?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • More or less. As you describe him, it's more likely that breaking up with her is a ploy to make her come crawling back, and make her feel like SHE'S the one in the wrong. Basically he's trying to get her to apologize and beg him to take her back, he'll act like he's doing her a huge favor by taking her back, and then eventually she'll give him access to her email accounts because he's made her feel like she was wrong not to. But that's not the main goal. The main goal is to control and manipulate, and getting the upper hand by making her beg him to take her back is one step further. Getting control of her email and other internet accounts is another. And if she doesn't beg, he'll probably give up after a while, and come to HER talking about how stupid he was, how he needs her and loves her and never should have left her, asking for forgiveness and trying to suck her back in with sweet words.

    Does he try to isolate her from all her friends? Probably starting out with getting upset if he saw her talking to a guy, or hanging out with a guy friend. Doesn't matter who the guy is, any guy is a threat. He might not show his jealousy in public, but in private he explodes about it and she takes it because she doesn't know how else to react. Then progressing to getting angry and going into a jealous rage anytime her attention is focused on ANYONE other than him. Progressing further probably to trying to keep her at home, not letting her go out with her friends at all, driving her to and from work even if she has her own car and license, etc. Probably eventually isolating her from her family as well. The goal here is to make her vulnerable. The only person she has anymore is HIM, and that's how he wants it. He needs to feel needed and in control. Making her vulnerable makes it more difficult for her if she tries to get out of the situation. She either feels like she's burned all her bridges, or he's MADE her burn all her bridges, so the people she would normally call are no longer an option. In reality, she could call and those people would most definitely still try to help, because people aren't stupid. They see what's going on in their friends' and family's lives, usually better than the person herself does. They see that the person in question isn't ready for help, so they back off until she needs it.

    THAT is not a healthy relationship. That's a relationship she needs to get out of ASAP. It's toxic and emotionally damaging and her best bet is to stay broken up. And THIS kind of guy doesn't just change. It's not going to get better. She shouldn't give him the satisfaction of crawling back and begging for forgiveness like she's the one who did wrong.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This type of guy is the last thing any lady would want. No lady should stand for this either. A girl should leave a piece a trash like this.

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  • The answer is YES. A control freak controls others because they feel they have no self wealth and to gain that self wealth they inflict their hardship on others.

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