He broke up with me for the second time. How to deal with this pain?

I met my ex-bf on a social networking and we start talking every day. We live in different countries but he booked the flight to see me after 2 months of talking. He seemed in love with me and I fell for him to. I can't say that everything was good in the beginning because he was a bit jealous and he created a lot of weird scenarios accusing me of stuff that I didn't do. He was jealous about people who liked my pictures and etc. He got mad at me over silly things and then he told me he suffers from anger issues.
We had long talks, we talked about anything.

We spent nice moments together here in my country but we would still have stupid fights when we were physically together. I loved him very much and I found him extremely attractive. I liked some traits of his personality which were rare nowadays. We start talking about me moving to his country and he pressured me to do it. But then he broke up with me after 8 months of dating because he told me he had a lot of financial issues. He told me that he has a good job but the reality was that he spent all of his money on drugs in the past and that he was still battling that addiction (he still did drugs every 3 weeks)

After two months separated he texted me saying he almost died due to drugs and after we spoke for awhile, we convinced me to get back together. Today (after 7 months) he broke up with me for the second time. He didn't even answer the phone he just texted me that. He said he couldn't talk to me because it would be worse. And this sucks to me. How can he act so cold? I asked to talk to him because I needed closure.
This break up happens after he had a severe problem with gang members (something that I didn't know he was involved with). They beat him up and took all of his money because he owed money to those guys. He got weird after that happened and he said he was a loser.

Should I send him a letter expressing whatever I want to say since he didn't let me to call him?


What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • It is obvious he has a lot of issues which he needs to deal with before entering into a committed relationship with any girl. It seems he didn't intentionally mean to hurt you, but it's inevitable you'd end up hurt considering his lifestyle

    If you feel better putting your thoughts down in writing and expressing how you feel... then do what you need to do. But for now , put your heart on reserve until you are certain he is capable of taking care of it. He can't even look out for his own let alone someone else's. He needs to change his lifestyle before you could even stand a remote chance of being happy with him

  • Write it all down. It will help. But before you choose to send it or destroy it know that there could be a chance he will reply. He might reply in an extremely negative way and it could hurt you further.
    He sounds manipulative. I'd advise you to keep your distance, make yourself happy and take the time to truly heal. We can't help who we fall in love with, but there are times when no matter how much we love and care for someone it isn't enough for them to be the person we want.
    Also know that if you get back together, he may be different in the beginning but the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. He might break up with you again, it may even be more painful than this time.
    There are so many great guys out there. Take the time and wait for one who will love you as much as you love him, rather than give everything and receive nothing in return.