My ex and I still love each other and we want to work it our issues but start over as friends and build from the ground up we have vowed to each other that we won't date or hook up with anyone... How do I be just his friend and still build a new relationship with him?
Most Helpful Guy
You might be screwed.
The reason these things don't work the second time around is because it requires both people to become different people. And the odds of you both changing are incredibly low.
All we can ever hope to change is ourselves.
Clinging on to a failed relationship is like clinging onto floating boards after the ship has sank... with the hopes of finding more scraps to rebuild into a new ship.
You need to abandon ship, find the shore and get yourself safe, settled and rejuvenated before trying to "build a new relationship" with someone... especially someone that already doesn't work with you.
Saying you still "love" him is NO reason to try to make it work.
I still LOVE pizza and candy and chips... but they're bad for me.
Love him all you like... but from a distance.
Feelings aren't facts. You have to make choices that are GOOD for your heart, not just because you still "love" someone. Love yourself enough to keep yourself safe.
Look at how many women stay in abusive relationships because they still "love" their partner... but they forget to love themselves enough to keep themselves safe.
Don't waste time desperate to make an old relationship work (when it's already broken) when there's millions and millions of great guys worth meeting.
But that's just my opinion. :P
Most Helpful Girl
Are you sure you want to go back to him? Sometimes people become exes for a reason. But if you want to give it another shot, stay away from situations that would cause you and him to become intimate. Like, don't invite him over to your place, don't go over his. Meet in a public place, go bowling, go for ice cream, go to a park and feed the ducks. Also, who made the first vow not to hook up with anyone? Did he suggest that first, or did you? Weigh the pros and cons of getting back with him. Is it really love, or is it just lust?1