Should I go see him?

Anonymous
Me and my best friend/ex-boyfriend got into a fight in January and we haven't spoken since. He said in his last message that I shouldn't contact him or email him. I never replied and just left it at that.

The argument itself was stupid and it was my fault. But the underlying cause was the main problem. I had hurt him last year after we planned to see each other and due to short funding I couldn't go even though he had done much to make it a special trip. Furthermore, I blamed him for not supporting me when that's actually all he has done. I was to say the least, a terrible person and friend.

So, I've thought about going to see him in the UK. But I'm not sure it's a good idea. I know that the biggest cause of his frustration was the distance between us. We love each other and I know he still loves me, he said he always would, but the distance pained him, it created a tear that ripped us apart when the plans didn't go through.

Anyway, I've thought about it from two angles. If I to go to his house, leave a letter and perhaps some whiskey (he loves whiskey almost as much as he loved (s) me) - letting him know I'm in town and that I wish to see him; it's likely that he'll talk to me. I don't approach him directly, I let him choose and he isn't forced to see me. But chances are he isn't there at all or don't have time.

If I try to reach him beforehand, he'll tell me not to contact him at all. He's a bit difficult like that and I know his way of thinking.

I really just want to apologize, just to let him know that I didn't mean to hurt him, that I actually want to be friends again. I just want a chance to say I'm sorry face to face.

So, should I try or just give up? The worst thing about this situation, is how much it reminds me of the poor dialogues in movies when two people argue; it has me screaming "just say it!" and this is how I feel right now. I want to say I'm sorry.
Should I go see him?
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