Guys, what can an ex do to get you interested in getting back together? Girls, anything worked for you?

Although my recent ex is in a new relationship, which he got into weeks after he dumped me, what can I do to get him to start thinking about me? I'm not sabotaging their relationship, but are there things I can do that might make him think of me more? You can read my previous posts for breakup details. We've been no contact for a month now. Girls, anything you've done that's worked?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why not just move on? If he dumped you, he's probably through with the relationship, at least for now. Let him do his own thing, you move on and do your own thing, and if your paths cross later on down the road and you both want to try again it might be more likely to work. Sometimes you have to lose something and have other experiences before you can appreciate what you had before. Let him date some other girls and be totally disappointed by them , let him see you dating other guys and having fun, then if you both end up single again a year or two down the road and you want to reach out and say "Hey, we should meet up for lunch sometime" and see where things go from there... you might have a better chance of making it work.
    If you jump right back into it now, you might be OK for a short while, but the odds of it working long term are slim to none.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • How are you not trying to sabotage it. If you were dating someone and you heard their ex was trying to plan for way for him to think about her again wouldn't you be pissed? Leave the man alone. He's moved on and you should too. If you want him back at least be respectful and wait until it's appropriate (aka he's single.)

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    • She knew he and I were still living together and talking about maybe working things out in the future when she started to convince him to date her so I really don't care about how she would feel. He decided he didn't want to give us a fair chance to fix things after he started to see her

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    • Not to put you down, but I've seen relationship rebounds work out. Though given their age and your circumstance I don't think it will.

      And remember, even if he doesn't decide to give it another shot, you can find better, he's not the only one out there for you.

    • I know. I posted a video on facebook that was taken of me last night, doing the most ridiculous version of the gangnam style dance ever. I never would have done something like that before in front of people and this time I didn't even care. Its like I hit bottom and no longer give a crap about what people think of me. At least I got that out of the deal. He's been liking my friends statuses for a few days now, I thought that was a little weird.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I know it s easily said than done. You are better off moving on regardless of the feelings you still have for him. Your recovery from the breakup has been too slow because you are still nursing hope to reunite with your ex. The following worked for me; it could work for you too.

    # Step 1
    The first thing I do is embracing I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light. Recognising my inability to effect a desirable change is itself relieving.

    # Step 2
    I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.

    # Step 3
    I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting for her to come back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.

    # Step 7
    I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.

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  • Be alive, refresh you, show him a new you, show him that you are different, and that you don't feel like you are diyng for him

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  • An ex is an ex for a reason, once bitten twice shy is my motto on that.

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  • Give it up. It's over

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  • It depends

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    • On what?

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    • I think I begged him to work things out 3 or 4 times after the initial breakup, and each time got needier and more pathetic. To the point where I hit rock bottom and just didn't talk to him again because I was so humiliated

    • See thats my point but we all make mistake... I been there and done it myself. while I kiss my ex with everything I have I don't regret letting her go and finding someone else to love which am s to ll lookin for.

What Girls Said 1

  • if you have no dignity then cry like crazy and tell him you feel worthless without him then he might might accept you or think whuuu this is one hella crazy bitch !

    just joking sorry I think you really should let it go !
    I know it's hard and you still love him but usually when a guy loses interest then he's really done or gave up on the relation.
    You deserve someone that loves you back and appreciates you.

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