Miss ex, after a year and in a new relationship, help?

I will try to keep this relitively short,
I dated my ex girlfriend for over 4 years, since high school, and we were doing great. Everything was working out and we even talked about marriage, when out of the blue she broke it off over a year ago, giving no hard reasons other than us not being right for each other.. I was pretty devestated but got better in time. Since then I've dated a few girls, but didn't last over a month because I realized I wasn't ready and missed her, making me question every little detail about the new relationship.

Today im in dating a great girl, and we have a really nice time together, but the occasional text from my ex and stray trains of thought keep bringing her to mind, and making me sad and nostalgic.

Im really scared that I will stay like this, that my deep heart desire would be to be with that ex again, and I fear being caught in a loop of breaking girls hearts every time someone gets close..
Please help

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What Girls Said 2

  • You should block her until you've fully healed. It sounds like you need a period of no contact to stop her from directly affecting your new relationships.

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    • Tried that for several months, it was pretty painful, but helpful. But im very skeptical about ever being "fully healed" or at least being able to diagnose that correctly. It feels like the correct thing would be no contact indefinitely, but thats really hard to manage for me..

    • You just need to stick to it. I know how hard it is especially when someone has been a significant part of your life for so long, but it'll really be for the better. She'll being to fade out and you'll get used to not hearing from her and eventually stop wanting to.

  • It is better to focus on your life and leave them out.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If your 'heart' is with your ex, then please break up with this 'great' girl you are dating now. It's unfair for you, and even more so for her. You aren't ready to date until you are completely over your ex. Let your current girlfriend seek someone who can be completely devoted to her.

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    • The thing is, its happened twice before already, I take my time and get much better, meet someone and when things get a bit more serious I start missing my ex again.. third time this feels like a pattern and Id rather think very hard before doing something rash..

    • You need to completely cut out your ex from your life. You get 'occasional texts', and that could be the problem.

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